The Denial of Death

Becker argues that culture exists to deny the “creatureliness” of people (159). In Western culture, Christianity offered people the idea that anyone, even the sick and poor, could become part of “cosmic heroism” (160) in the form of Heaven. With the decline of religion in people’s lives in the modern era, one substitute is the “romantic solution” (160), with which people find fulfillment and safety through the love of a romantic partner.

However, Becker reminds us that sex remains a constant reminder of humanity’s creatureliness. Agreeing with the arguments of Rank about romance and sex, Becker argues that, by identifying with a sexual partner, a person negates their own personality (165). Also, no person can be a substitute for another person’s yearning for transcendence. In fact, Becker theorizes that one reason why people become depressed is when they “deflate” (167) themselves in order to maintain a romantic relationship.

Romantic relationships cannot satisfy in the long term because people are “still looking for the absolute, for the supreme self-transcending power mystery, and majesty” (168). This is also why people turn to their parents, a leader, or their boss. Becker argues this particularly affects the lives of women, who often find themselves having to submit to the roles of wife and mother (170).