37 pages • 1 hour read
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In the morning, the Heffleys wake to find they have parked on a baseball field and once again have to find a new spot. Everyone is feeling pessimistic after a horrible first day, but Greg suggests going to a family wilderness park that he saw advertised on the road. It sounds great at first, but his mom insists on doing something Manny can do, and Greg is stuck going for a tube float down the river when he wanted to rock climb or go mountain biking. An illustration shows Greg sitting in the water on his tube, surrounded by people enjoying themselves while he looks glum. After hitting a shallow patch, Greg’s tube deflates and he borrows Manny’s. He passes by some people and suspects one of them might have peed in the water, and when he rushes to get away, he ends up in a rapid and is taken down the river. His family reaches out for him, but they are “totally useless in an emergency” (61), and Greg keeps going. When his bathing suit comes off, he opts not to be rescued by the lifeguard and floats down another couple of miles, returning to the camper with a drink cooler covering his genitals.
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By Jeff Kinney