The Courage to Be Disliked

For two weeks after their last conversation, the youth has been burdened by thoughts of freedom and has felt increasingly less free.

Beginning their new conversation with a discussion of freedom, the youth brings up the idea of financial freedom and then the idea of “bonds,” or obligations to people. He explains that his parents pressured him in different ways and caused him anxiety. The only thing he chose for himself is his current job—he works as a librarian at a university. When he chose the university that they wanted him to attend, he felt relieved that they might recognize him at last. The philosopher explains that Adlerian psychology advises people not to seek recognition.

Using the example of picking up trash around one’s workplace and stopping when one does not receive recognition, the philosopher argues that there is something wrong with the reward-punishment structure in mainstream education. The young man responds that it is natural to want to be recognized for doing well, but the philosopher counters that this path leads to living other people’s lives rather than one’s own.

The young man replies that this argument erodes the foundation of society, which is built upon mutual recognition.