The Courage to Be Disliked

One week later, the young man comes back to the philosopher’s study, more determined than ever to prove the philosopher wrong. He still believes that people cannot be free of their pasts.

The young man admits that he dislikes himself and explains that he would never hold such a view if he had the power to choose. He explains his shortcomings, saying that he is insecure and pessimistic and cannot enjoy other people or the world.

The philosopher offers an example of a girl who asked him for help. She was afraid of blushing and said that once she could stop blushing, she would tell a man that she loved him. The philosopher argues that she wanted to live in the reality in which blushing, not rejection, was the reason why she and her romantic interest could not be together. She manufactured the fear of blushing in order to keep her distance from the man.

The philosopher explains people’s common belief that if one thing happens, their lives will be perfect. He says that his strategy is to help people accept themselves as they are. At that point, regardless of the outcome, they will have the courage to move forward.