The Comfort Book

Published in 2021 during the COVID-19 pandemic, Matt Haig’s The Comfort Book presents anecdotes, bits of historical and biographical insight, mantras, affirmations, and advice tailored to bringing readers comfort in times of need. Haig, the author of several works of both fiction and nonfiction, also draws on his personal experiences with mental illness, which he discusses in detail in Reasons to Stay Alive (2015).

Content Warning: The Comfort Book contains references to suicidal ideation, sexual abuse, the Holocaust, antisemitism, and slavery.

Summary

The book consists of four parts and includes chapters of various formats and lengths, such as recipes, process analyses, lists, and terse, standalone quotations. The irregularity of the book’s structure mirrors the irregularity and diversity of comfort and of the healing process. It need not be read from beginning to end but is designed so anyone can pick it up during a moment of despair and flip to any page to find words of comfort.

Part 1 deals with readers’ essential humanness. Haig stresses that people do not need to achieve anything to be worthy of existence. He introduces the subject of suffering and points out that hardships can be overcome by simply walking in a straight line. Haig discusses the power of the mind and the idea that “the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it” (12). Haig also encourages Embracing the Inevitability of Change, which is both “the nature of life” and “the reason to hope” (16). Haig points out that beautiful and meaningful music has been composed during times of despair; rock bottom can even be a hopeful place because it is a state in which one can completely rebuild one’s self. Haig discusses the therapeutic and cathartic value of words and suggests that people are all connected in ways both obvious and hidden. Haig reminds readers that there is always a path through the forest and encourages them to enjoy what life has to offer, such as pizza, hummus, pasta, and peanut butter on toast—all ways of Finding Comfort in Simplicity. Haig encourages readers to forgive themselves and says that it is okay to say “No.” Hitting a dead end is not the same as failing, and by recognizing the dead end, one gains knowledge going forward. Haig reminds readers that “happiness is an accident of self-acceptance” (70).

In Part 2, Haig continues to discuss change by comparing the constant changes of life to a river. He encourages readers to let their emotions, thoughts, and memories flow and provides advice for making a bad day better. Haig also reminds readers that, like the goldsaddle goatfish, humans can save each other. The future will never be entirely free of worry, but even death has its purpose, providing greater meaning to life. Haig reiterates that one’s value does not depend on one’s accomplishments and that it is enough simply to exist.

In Part 3, Haig states that when someone is in despair, they are unable to see what they have. He encourages readers to save and remember the moments that are precious to them but notes that the present is the most valuable possession. He reminds readers that imperfection and uncertainty are part of human nature and the world as a whole. However, people are more than their worst behavior. He states that it is good to be weird and eccentric and encourages readers to engage themselves in the world to get out of their minds. He stresses that it is never too late to pursue a passion.

In Part 4, Haig points out the marvels of the world that people often take for granted and suggests that the beauty of the natural world can provide hope in times of despair. He reiterates that the universe is change and underscores that one’s reactions to what happens are more important than the events themselves. Like a caterpillar having to endure the darkness of a cocoon to become a beautiful butterfly, people metamorphose through their own challenges. Haig encourages readers to see things as they are, break out of patterns, and try new things. Life and the future are uncertain, but that uncertainty provides freedom. Haig reminds readers that failure is necessary for growth and highlights the importance of accepting one’s emotions rather than resisting them. Haig also advises Resisting Binary Thinking—the idea that opposites are mutually exclusive rather than interdependent. The book closes with a reminder of humans’ connection to one another and to all living things that evolve and transform.