The Collected Schizophrenias

In 2007, Wang was told she would be a great counselor at Camp Wish, a camp for children with bipolar disorder. Wang shuddered at the thought of dealing with children with mental illnesses and was wary of dealing with children at all. She feared being around children because of what it might awaken in her. Still, she applied for the position, curious as to what might unfold there and also desperate for some company. Describing pediatric bipolar disorder, Wang notes that it is difficult to understand what children who experience it are going through at a given moment, and it is often paired with behavioral problems related to violence, suicide, sexuality, and hallucinations. Wang went to the camp with her husband, whom she refers to as C. Each parent filled out a lengthy form indicating their child’s diagnoses, medical history, preferences, and more.

Wang’s reasons for not wanting children are complex but include her worries about passing her disorder on to her children, her medications’ potential to interfere with fetal development, and the risk of having a psychotic episode while alone with her child. At one point, she did want children, but after mentioning this to C, he responded with concerns about genetics, and Wang deleted the idea from her mind.