60 pages • 2 hours read
The Collected Regrets of Clover
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Themes
Death as Avoidance of Life
Content Warning: This section of the guide includes frank discussions of death and prolonged grief, as well as brief discussions of alcohol addiction.
In The Collected Regrets of Clover, the theme of death as avoidance of life marks the protagonist’s character arc. Clover’s profession as a death doula revolves around helping clients come to terms with their deaths and offering support during the final stages of their lives. Through Clover’s experiences and interactions with various characters, the novel explores how the closeness of death can lead to a profound avoidance of truly living.
Clover has a relatively comfortable relationship with death but lives an isolated, lonely life. As a death doula, she helps others confront their regrets and fears as their lives are coming to an end. However, she struggles to address her own apprehensions about living, particularly as she avoids opening herself up to love and intimacy. The relationships she forms with her clients are short-term and therefore emotionally safe—there’s little risk of being hurt, but there is also no long-term intimacy or connection. Her profession allows her to be a guide for others but also serves as a defense mechanism to keep her at an emotional distance from the world.
Claudia, Sebastian’s grandmother and a former photojournalist, embodies the theme of death as avoidance of life in a unique way. Claudia’s decision to step away from her career due to societal pressures and expectations of marriage signifies a sacrifice—or death—of her passion and dreams. In this sense, she avoided the vibrant, exhilarating life she could have pursued in favor of a more traditional role. This decision is a form of self-denial. Her lost love, Hugo Beaufort, symbolizes another opportunity that she let slip away due to fears and societal expectations.
Leo’s character offers a different perspective on the theme of death as avoidance of life. In spite of having lost his wife, whom he loved dearly, Leo stays open to life. His love of life is heightened when he embraces his impending death, choosing to die a beautiful death, mirroring his beautiful life. Leo provides an example for Clover that it is possible to have an accepting attitude toward death and love life at the same time.
Although Clover’s closeness to death comes from a genuine interest in helping others through the most difficult moments in life, the novel shows that life should not be neglected in the process of accepting death. Clover’s slow transformation comes with the reminder that, to love and live in the present, one should work on leaving the grief of the past behind. At the end of the book, Clover decides to learn a new craft—photography—hinting that, perhaps, as she embraces a new attitude toward life, she can find a profession that reflects it.
The Transformative Power of Confronting Regrets
The theme of confronting regrets explores how characters come to terms with their past choices and the impact these choices have on their lives. Through the experiences of the main character, Clover, and the supporting cast of characters, the novel underscores the transformative power of confronting regrets and the profound impact this can have on one’s life.
Clover has collected the last words of her clients throughout the years of working as a death doula. Clover spends much of her time facilitating conversations and reflections on past decisions for her clients, giving them the opportunity to confront their regrets and make amends. However, the irony lies in her struggle to address her own accumulated regrets, particularly her fear of emotional intimacy and her reluctance to let go of past heartbreaks.
The protagonist’s journey throughout the novel is an embodiment of the theme, as she ultimately confronts her own regrets and opens herself up to new experiences and relationships. Clover’s realization that her work as a death doula has a selfish aspect in sheltering her from facing her own regrets provides her with the opportunity to start acting on her regrets. Her own entry in the “REGRETS” journal makes the realization conscious and concrete, allowing her to make a plan:
Clover Brooks
I regret not taking more chances.
I regret closing off my heart.
I regret existing out of habit (271).
Since Clover’s entry is written in pencil, she can erase or rewrite the entry as she addresses each regret. As the narrative advances, Clover makes progress toward addressing each of the regrets she lists, gradually taking more emotional risks and finding rewards in the form of closer relationships, new adventures, and through Hugo, love.
Claudia’s story serves as a reminder that it is never too late to confront one’s regrets and find solace in doing so. Although she cannot resolve her unfulfilled love for Hugo, she nevertheless acknowledges that she has stayed true to him in her heart and receives the confirmation that he has as well. The promise that she will meet him in the next life provides the possibility that, in a different dimension, the regrets will be acted upon, if they have been resolved emotionally in the present world.
The novel emphasizes that acknowledging regrets and seeking reconciliation can lead to personal growth, newfound relationships, and emotional healing. It serves as a reminder that the process of confronting regrets is an essential part of the human experience, offering the possibility of profound self-discovery, forgiveness, and, ultimately, a more fulfilled and authentic life.
The Complexity of Loss and Grief
The theme of loss and grief is woven throughout the narrative. The protagonist, Clover, grapples with various forms of loss, from personal relationships to the passage of time, and the novel explores how she navigates grief as an integral part of her life.
Clover’s grief over the death of her grandfather is a deep feature of her character. Eight months after his death, she is diagnosed with persistent complex bereavement disorder and offered medication. Clover disagrees with the attitude that the medical professional has regarding the process of grief and does not accept the diagnosis. Instead, she decides to allow grief to transform her life organically:
It felt callous to be expected to resume life as normal six months after losing someone whose existence had been so indelibly intertwined with yours. There would never be a moment I wouldn’t miss Grandpa. That was one of the reasons I became a death doula—my grief felt more at home in the company of others who were grieving, whether it was loved ones or the dying person themselves grieving a life they knew they could have lived better (69-70).
As she navigates her experience with grief, Clover ultimately finds the strength to move forward and embrace new beginnings. Clover learns to let go of the memory of her grandfather, though she accepts that her grief will never completely subside.
Hugo, Clover’s love interest at the end of the novel, provides another perspective on grief. He shares his own experience with grief after the loss of his mother. He expresses his anger at the reactions people had to his grief, such as telling him that she is in a better place and that she would not want him to be sad. These reactions are common in society and stem from an automatic reaction that attempts to keep grief away and not face its expression in oneself and others. Hugo also states that he used alcohol to numb his grief due to a lack of understanding from others. Hugo’s experience underscores the isolation and desperation that can result when one feels unsupported and unheard in the experience of loss and grief.
Overall, the novel emphasizes the importance of fostering a more empathetic and compassionate approach to grief, one that encourages open dialogue and provides genuine support to those who are grieving. Clover and Hugo’s bonding over the experiences of loss and grief depicts the deep chord that these themes touch and the lasting connections that they can help cement.
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