The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

Mrs. Armstrong patronizingly tells the narrator’s mother how to do everything for the pageant, as if she’s never heard of the Christmas story herself. She reminds the narrator’s mother that “every single person in the pageant is just as important as every other person—that the littlest baby angel is just as important as Mary” (25). Mrs. Armstrong always starts by casting Mary. Then, she gives the narrator’s mother all of Mary’s qualifications and characteristics as if she is the only one who knows.

On Sunday, she announces that they’ll have five rehearsals. Her son, Charlie, doesn’t want to be a shepherd and threatens to get sick. The kids then waste time wondering aloud about who will replace anyone who gets ill. When she asks who would like to volunteer to play Mary, only Imogene raises her hand. Her brother, Ralph, wants to be Joseph.

The narrator feels like her mother is behind a glass wall during a stickup. When asked, Alice confirms she doesn’t want to volunteer. Ralph, Claude, and Ollie Herdman volunteer to be the Wise Men, and Gladys, the youngest Herdman, will be the Angel of the Lord. The other kids suddenly don’t want to be shepherds because Gladys will deliver them the news of Christ’s birth.