The Bald Soprano

The Smiths return from offstage in the same clothes they were originally wearing. Mrs. Smith apologizes to the Martins for taking so long to change clothes, while Mr. Smith is irritated that the Martins were late. The Martins are embarrassed and the two couples struggle to make conversation as the Smiths’ clock loudly and repetitively strikes. Notably, the conversation covers Mr. Smith having just wet his pants, and Mrs. Martin’s astonishing story of what she saw earlier that very day: a man bent over tying his shoe. This amazes the group.

The doorbell rings and Mrs. Smith answers the door, though no one is there. The doorbell rings again, Mrs. Smith answers the door, and again no one is there. The doorbell continues to ring and ring and the group argues over whether a doorbell ringing must always mean that someone is at the door, and whether someone is currently at the door or not. Mrs. Smith and Mrs. Martin side together against Mr. Smith and Mr. Martin and say no one’s there. Mr. Smith goes to check and finds the Fire Chief at the door.