The Art of Gathering

15 Toasts is a method for meaningfully engaging the attendees of a gathering by encouraging them to take turns spontaneously speaking on a shared theme. The technique is named after the number of guests at the event where Parker first tested it. Participation can even be playfully incentivized, such as with the pop-up rule that whoever goes last must sing what they share. Parker encourages participants to share personal reflections and anecdotes, and provides examples of how the technique has been successfully implemented at gatherings of all sizes and varieties.

Chill is Parker’s term for a hands-off approach to organizing gatherings. She defines it as “the idea that it’s better to be relaxed and low-key, better not to care, better not to make a big deal” (73), and that appearing overly involved will inconvenience guests. Creating a shorthand for this perspective allows Parker to clearly distinguish her own recommended style of organizing gatherings, which involves careful planning and orchestration.

In the Introduction Parker defines a gathering’s key concept as “the conscious bringing together of people for a reason” (ix). At the outset of the book, this definition seems very general, almost overly so.