104 pages • 3 hours read
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Ibtisam opens her memoir with a free-verse poem, comparing herself to a bird wishing for freedom from its cage. It is 1981, and she is a teenager, riding a bus home from Birzeit to Ramallah. The bus stops at an Israeli army checkpoint in Sudra. A soldier tells Ibtisam that Ramallah is destroyed. Ibtisam is frightened. She worries what might have happened to her town and family. Soldiers direct the bus to an army compound where, at gunpoint, the passengers disembark and stand outside. Soldiers separate college students, beat up one teenager, and collect everyone’s IDs.
Ibtisam wishes she could write down her feelings. In Birzeit, she visited her private post office box. Ibtisam finds freedom in PO Box 34, where she receives mail from international pen pals describing their lives, families, and traditions. Ibtisam has studied English since age 11 and responds with information about her life—but not about her childhood or the danger she faces daily. Ibtisam loves language and writing. She communicates with her mother through poems placed in a journal that she knows her mother reads. Ibtisam’s private journal is in her mind.
Mirriam, Ibtisam’s mother, is strict and smart. She warns Ibtisam to keep away from political activism, telling Ibtisam to “forget.
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