Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing

Peter’s father must watch his sons while Mrs. Hatcher visits her sister in Boston for the weekend. Aunt Linda has just given birth to a baby girl. Peter eagerly anticipates the relative freedom that being cared for by his father represents.

Peter has the day off from school, so Mr. Hatcher brings both boys to his advertising office for the day. The boys meet their father’s pretty secretary, Janet, who agrees to mind them for a while. Janet is a constant source of snacks for the children, and she carries goldfish crackers in her purse.

Janet shows them a room filled with toddlers who are waiting to audition for a Toddle-Bike commercial. This is one of Mr. Hatcher’s important accounts. Peter has a short fantasy about becoming the star of the commercial, but this is short lived. The child chosen to appear in the ad must be approved by Mr. Vincent, the Toddle-Bike company president. Upon seeing Fudge, the cigar-smoking Mr. Vincent picks him up and announces, “He’s perfect” (88). Mr. Hatcher objects that Fudge is not an actor; however, Mr. Vincent threatens to move his account to another agency if the child does not make the commercial.