59 pages • 1 hour read
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Duhigg introduces Felix Sigala, an exceptionally skilled communicator and negotiator who worked for the FBI. Sigala’s ability to connect with people and make them feel heard caught the attention of a group of researchers tasked by the Department of Defense to explore new methods for teaching persuasion and negotiation to military officers.
During an interview with the researchers, Sigala demonstrated his communication skills by asking personal questions, sharing his own experiences, and creating an atmosphere of trust. Sigala said he picked up these skills by emulating his father and grandfather. As such, Duhigg suggests that effective communication is a set of learnable skills, and that anyone can become a “supercommunicator.”
The author reveals that the book aims to explore the secrets of successful conversations, drawing on research that sheds light on why some conversations go well while others fail. He introduces the concept of “neural entrainment”—a phenomenon in which brain activity synchronizes during conversation—and emphasizes the importance of paying attention to body language, asking the right questions, acknowledging social differences, and recognizing the role of emotions in every discussion. Duhigg shares his own struggles with communication, both in his professional and personal life. Before writing this book, he realized that he often failed to listen to and empathize with others, instead focusing on practical solutions or his own concerns.
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By Charles Duhigg