Stuck In Neutral

Shawn is a fourteen-year-old teenager with cerebral palsy. He is confined to a wheelchair and is not able to control any of his muscles. This leaves him fairly alone in the world, as he is unable to interact with the people around him, most of whom assume that he has the mental capacity of an infant. However, Shawn is actually quite intelligent and able to remember everything he has ever experienced, although his experiences are limited mostly to sounds and some images, when his vision cooperates: “If I’m anything at all, you’d have to agree that I am memory” (97). Shawn becomes a kind of embodiment of memory throughout the narrative, constantly conflating present and past reality with his dreams.

Shawn also experiences seizures, which concern the people around him. Shawn, however, enjoys the seizures because they afford him the opportunity to escape his body. He does not feel trapped in his body like his father thinks he is, but rather remains upbeat, looking forward to these moments of escape. Even though he cannot control the seizures and they often come at inopportune times, they are also the instances in which he feels the most like himself, as he is able to indulge in whatever whims he pleases.