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Haller sets the treatise aside and finds a poem he wrote, in which he envisions himself as a hungry, aging wolf. Haller thinks the poem and treatise are both accurate representations of himself. Haller once lost his job and social standing, and, later, his wife left him. He searched for intellectual asceticism, then he traveled. Each change was brought on by a feeling of stillness that Haller could not bear. He feels another change coming, but he is afraid to face the fragmentation of self he experiences during periods of change. He considers suicide, regardless of the treatise’s derision. Haller falls asleep thinking about the immortals. He wakes up and considers suicide again, noting that he attempted suicide with laudanum years ago. He rereads the treatise, both respecting its wisdom and resenting how it fails to accurately describe his unique situation. He wants to find the magical theater for madmen.
Haller looks for the wall where he saw the ad for the theater, and he encounters a funeral procession. Haller is amused by the falsehood of the funeral-goers’ sadness and the clergy’s piousness. He thinks no one he knows would care if he died, even Erica, who he sees periodically. He sees the man who gave him the treatise, and he asks the man about the theater.
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By Hermann Hesse
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Beauty
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Existentialism
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The Past
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