Stay With Me

The pressures and limitations of tradition is a central theme in the novel, forming the core of Akin and Yejide’s conflict. Akin and Yejide both experience social pressures from Moomi due to their childless marriage, with these pressures driving them to extreme actions as they attempt to conform to their expected roles.

For Akin, traditionally defined fatherhood is impossible because of his impotence. Not wanting to risk his mother’s disapproval and rejection, he goes to great lengths to hide his impotence and orchestrate a pregnancy for Yejide, persuading Dotun to impregnate her without admitting to Yejide what he is scheming. At his mother’s insistence, he also marries Funmi, which violates his prior agreement with Yejide. Akin only begins to unravel the damage he has done when he learns to reject the limitations society places on him as a man: In embracing his role as Rotimi’s primary caregiver, he becomes a true father in the most meaningful sense of the term, setting aside his own selfish desires to care for Rotimi to the best of his ability. Taking on the caregiving role also helps Akin to see Yejide in a new light: Despite her abandonment of Rotimi, he explains to Rotimi that Yejide was in deep pain and that she is a woman of many good qualities.