Stay With Me

Stay With Me (2017) is the debut literary novel of Nigerian Yorùbá author Ayọ̀bámi Adébáyọ̀. This nonlinear novel is told from two perspectives and gradually unravels the reasons behind a married couple’s 15-year estrangement. An intimate story set amidst the politically turbulent Babangida government of the 1980s and 1990s, Adébáyọ̀ exposes The Pressures and Limitations of Tradition, The Vulnerability of Hope Amidst Tragedies, and The Power of Self-Deception. Stay With Me won the 2017/18 9Mobile Prize for Literature and the Prix Les Afriques for the 2020 French translation.

This study guide refers to the 2017 Borzoi Book Kindle edition of the novel, published by Alfred A. Knopf.

Content Warning: The source text and this guide refer to military violence against civilians, issues of infertility and impotence, false pregnancy and miscarriage, child death due to complications with sickle cell disorder, and violence and accidental death.

Plot Summary

The story opens in 2008 as Akinyele (“Akin”) and Yejide, estranged spouses, separately prepare for Akin’s father’s funeral. Akin invites Yejide despite their lack of contact or communication. As the date approaches and they make their preparations, they each reflect on and share their own perspectives on the events, both public and private, that led to their estrangement.

Yejide and Akin meet on separate dates at the movies while Yejide attends university near Ilesa. Akin leaves his date to pursue her and visits her in her dorm, despite her insistence that she does not wish to marry him before graduating and will wait for sex until they are married. It is not until being caught in a bloody 1981 student protest that Yejide agrees to marry him on the condition that she will not tolerate a polygamous marriage. Her own upbringing as a motherless and ostracized stepchild in her father’s polygamous household has led to her distrust of the traditional marriage system.

Though they enjoy an abundant life because of Akin’s job as a bank manager and Yejide’s booming salon business, they are unable to conceive a child after four years together, despite assurances from doctors that Yejide is not infertile. Akin is secretly impotent and goes to great lengths to hide this from Yejide, whose sexual inexperience makes it easy for him to convince her that his inability to have an erection is normal for some men. Since he is his mother’s oldest child, his mother expects grandchildren and arranges a second marriage with Funmilayo, or “Funmi,” who agrees to live separately, angering Yejide, who considers the arrangement cheating.

Since Yejide watched her father’s wives scheme and vie for his attention, Yejide resolves to get pregnant before Funmi so that she does not steal Akin’s attention. She visits a faith healer, the Prophet Josiah, who puts her through a ritual that he claims will lead to her pregnancy. She soon shows signs of pregnancy, but her ultrasound reveals that her uterus is empty, indicating that she has pseudocyesis triggered by the pressure to have a child. When her false pregnancy continues over 11 months and she persists in the belief that she will give birth, Akin realizes that he must get her pregnant before her mental health worsens. He enlists his brother, Dotun, to impregnate her for him, leading Dotun to believe that Yejide has already consented. Meanwhile, he travels often to Lagos on business and, secretly, to visit a urologist in search of a cure for his impotence.

On one of his trips, Funmi arrives at the house to confront Yejide about her false pregnancy. Unable to think of a better deflection, Yejide invites her to move into the guest room. Akin must now contend with two wives under one roof. Akin invites Dotun to visit while Funmi is away, and Dotun impregnates Yejide, who believes that she has been unfaithful. On the night of her daughter Olamide’s naming ceremony, Funmi and Akin get drunk, and Funmi loudly confronts him about his impotence. He responds by clamping his hand to her mouth, but she falls down the stairs and dies on impact. Yejide discovers her, and though both she and Akin fear accusations, her funeral passes, and they settle into parenthood.

At six months, Olamide dies suddenly. Dotun again comforts and impregnates Yejide, and she and Akin welcome Sesan quietly. While Akin is in Lagos, blood tests reveal that Sesan has sickle cell disorder. As Akin is not a carrier, the doctor reveals that Yejide, who is a carrier, must have conceived Sesan with another man because two copies of the gene are required for a child to develop sickle cell disorder. Dotun has been living with them due to separation from his wife and his inability to find work. He comforts Yejide about Sesan’s diagnosis while Akin is out of town, revealing that he is sorry that Akin has yet to cure his impotence and apologizing for his role in Sesan’s illness.

Yejide decides not to reveal her ignorance to Dotun or confront Akin about the deceptions. She focuses on supporting Sesan. She is pregnant with her final child, Rotimi, when Sesan dies. After Rotimi’s birth, Akin catches her and Dotun having sex, even though he has told Dotun that their arrangement is off. He beats Dotun bloody and unconscious, and Yejide moves into the guest room, leaving Akin to care for Rotimi through the nights.

Dotun leaves for Australia after he heals. Akin’s mother, Moomi, punishes Akin, believing that he forced Dotun away. When Rotimi is also positive for sickle cell disorder, Yejide refuses to stay in the hospital to protect herself from another loss that she cannot bear. In the wake of the 1993 elections, she travels with her friend Iya Bolu to Bauchi for a wedding while Akin takes Rotimi to Lagos to see his urologist about his impotence. When the elections are annulled, people gather in the streets of Lagos. The military responds by opening fire onto the crowds. In the midst, Akin calls Yejide because Rotimi has lost consciousness and he cannot get her to the hospital.

Believing that her child is dying, Yejide flees to Jos, where she sets up a salon and tries to forget her past. Akin, however, does not give up and gets Rotimi to the hospital. Yejide and Akin reunite at his father’s funeral in 2008, where Yejide discovers that Rotimi is still alive despite her illness. Reunited, the novel ends with an open-ended promise of a new beginning for the estranged family.