Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships

This book was published in 2006. Imagine you are editing an updated edition for 2023. What new developments in culture and social life would you need to account for, and how?

What media examples of the “dark triad” can you think of? How do these characters or figures correlate to Goleman’s model of them? How do they differ?

Goleman states that the internet changes how we interact because it doesn’t engage our OFC and trigger our empathy in the same way that face-to-face interaction usually does. Recall a time in which you behaved on the internet, or someone behaved toward you, in a way that seems unlikely to occur in a face-to-face interaction. Why did the interaction turn out that way? Based on Goleman’s explanation of the neurobiology of human interaction, how could you have altered that interaction for a more positive result?

Goleman largely presents “I/you” and “I/it” as separate, opposite ways of relating to other people. Can the line between these modes of relation sometimes be blurred? How, when, and why does “I/it” thinking occur in relationships that are otherwise characterized as “I/you”?

How do the mental processes that comprise social intelligence in early childhood persist, and how are they modified, in adulthood? What aspects of infant social intelligence remain present in the adult mind?

The COVID-19 pandemic drastically changed socialization on a global scale for more than two years. As school and other forms of social interaction moved online, what were the effects on young people’s emotional lives? How does this comport with Goleman’s theories of social intelligence and especially with his view of the neurobiological differences between online and in-person interaction?

Goleman emphasizes the importance of a “secure base”: In healthy relationships, whether those are parent-child relationships, romantic relationships, or even close friendships, the other person provides a place of safety that makes it easier to take on challenges in the wider world. What kinds of behaviors lead to the creation of a “safe base”? What neurobiological processes underlie those behaviors?

Pamela and Maeva, from Chapter 19, illustrate a positive and life-altering teacher-student relationship. What neurobiological processes allowed Pamela to recognize the source of Maeva’s difficulties—something that other teachers have presumably failed to do? Why did Maeva’s behavior change as her reading skills improved?