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David recalls a conversation with Papa Pigorino, the owner of Pigorino’s Pizza, several months prior, during which David suggested that Papa Pigorino have a pizza-eating contest to boost advertising. David never imagined that the man would go through with it. To compete, David will have to win a qualifier at any of the Pigorino’s Pizza restaurants in the region. The finals will take place at the Iowa State Fair.

David times himself on eating his pizza and finishes in three minutes, 40 seconds. He calls HeyMan to tell him the new record and relates the details of the contest. Although David’s time isn’t close to the professionals’ time, he still thinks he has a chance to win. Pigorino’s qualifier takes place on the same day as the Nathan’s Famous hot dog contest, so the real professionals will be at Nathan’s contest that day. David will need to borrow $50 for the entry fee. He finds out that HeyMan is hanging out at Cyn’s place without him.

It bothers David that HeyMan and Cyn are hanging out alone. He completes Mom’s shopping, and when he gets home, he tells Mom that he doesn’t need a job anymore because he plans to win the pizza-eating contest. Mom disapproves of David’s plan to enter because she thinks competitive eating is disgusting. David argues that competitive eating is a sport. Mom sends him to check on Mal.

David hangs out around the house the next day to intercept the mail. He is so concerned about the Visa bill that he forgets that Jooky’s hot dog is scheduled to arrive today. The hot dog comes with a certificate of authenticity and a strangely worded note from Jooky himself.

David is surprised by how small and gross the mummified hot dog is. It looks more like a Slim Jim. He texts HeyMan about the Jooky dog.

David takes the Jooky dog to HeyMan’s house, but he’s surprised to find Cyn already there. The two are playing badminton, and HeyMan is being bad on purpose to make Cyn laugh. When Cyn notices David, HeyMan looks a little disappointed to be interrupted. David is embarrassed to show the hot dog with Cyn there, but HeyMan admits that he told her all about the auction-gone-wrong. David reveals the hot dog, complete with what appears to be dried mustard. The friends speculate about why the other bidder stopped at $2,000 and why he hasn’t come back to bid on the hot dog again, but they can’t prove that there was any wrongdoing. Cyn and HeyMan each agree to invest $50 in David’s entry fees and training, with the expectation that they will receive a cut of the prize.

David goes to Pigorino’s to pay his entry fee and begin training. He scans the list of other contestants and orders two pepperoni pizzas. David times himself eating the pizzas. He experiments with tactics and different eating methods. He stops and jumps a couple times when everything starts to get stuck, but he manages to finish both pizzas in seven minutes, 32 seconds.

An older man compliments David’s eating and advises David to pace himself, adding that real champions come from behind. David watches as the man devours his own pizza with steady-paced regularity, never having to stop and jump or deal with a build-up. The old man finishes his pizza just three seconds behind David’s record, but without struggling. The man’s name is Egon Belt; he has just entered the pizza qualifier.

David is familiar with Egon Belt. He came fourth in a Nathan’s Famous tournament and still holds the cheese curd record. David thought that Egon was retired, and he worries about competing against a professional. The Pigorino’s worker sends David home with a waiver for his parents to sign so that he can compete. David buys several heads of raw cabbage because he has read that it’s the best way to stretch your stomach and train for competitive eating.

David feels guilty when he sees Mom paying the bills, but the Visa bill hasn’t come yet. He leaves the cabbage on the counter while he checks in on Mal and hides his Jooky dog away in his desk. When he comes back, Mom is concerned about the cabbage and more concerned when David indicates that he will eat all of it himself. Mom leaves to tend to her garden—a task she does to manage her stress. David, still full of pizza, cuts the cabbage up and prepares his timer. When Mom returns to find David lying on the floor in misery, she is upset about what he’s done. David is satisfied with his practice, as he has finished an entire head of cabbage on top of his two pizzas.

David uses his slider winnings to order two SooperSacks—two bags filled with 25 sliders each. He falls into a rhythm with them easily and finishes all 50 sliders in under 10 minutes.

On the way home, David is so uncomfortable that he lies down in the grass in town square. He calls HeyMan, who is at the mall with Cyn and her family. Cyn is helping HeyMan to pick new clothes. David tells HeyMan about the sliders. HeyMan asks if David needs help, but David decides that he is fine and lets HeyMan get back to trying on shirts. David wonders what is happening between HeyMan and Cyn.

When David gets home, he crawls into bed and refuses to come out for dinner, and his parents grow very concerned. They have a talk with David about the dangers of competitive eating. They are worried that he is damaging his body. David insists that he only wants to win the qualifier and the final of the pizza contest, and then he’ll be done. His parents want to know why, but he can’t bring himself to tell them about the $2,000 Visa charge. David also realizes that it also feels good to be good at something. Eating takes his mind off Mal and all his other stresses, but David’s parents wish he would do something else with his time.

Mom and Dad offer to pay David to watch Mal for six weeks while Mom works a summer camp position that she has always dreamt of accepting. They think that this is a good compromise for David’s desire to find a job. David feels cornered into accepting the offer because he wants them to let him compete in the eating contest. He’ll only have to watch Mal until Dad gets home each day, and Dad plans to cut back his hours. Mom’s job will start two days after the qualifier and end the day before the finals. David agrees and presents the waiver to his parents.

David finds the signed waiver on the table the next morning, despite his parents’ reservations. David and HeyMan go to Pigorino’s to practice. David considers ordering The Grande BLD, a pizza so large that it is breakfast, lunch, and dinner combined. David orders three cheese pizzas instead, and HeyMan looks up the Heimlich maneuver, just in case.

David makes great time on his first two pizzas, until halfway through the third pizza, when a large, hard piece of crust lodges in his throat. David eventually manages to swallow it, but it scratches his esophagus so badly that he believes he might have torn it. The next bites of pizza burn his throat, and he can’t continue. HeyMan informs him of his time—six minutes, 26 seconds. David is impressed that he ate so fast, but he worries that he’s done for good.

David’s auction ends with no bids. He lies in bed, worrying about the Visa bill and his aching throat. Mal crawls into bed next to David. David tells him to go away, but Mal stays and copies David’s position. They lie there and nap until Mom calls them down to dinner.

Mom has made pizza as a show of support for David. Mom appreciates David agreeing to step up and watch Mal for a few weeks. David drinks some milk and finds that his throat doesn’t hurt anymore. He eats a slice of pizza slowly, taking care to sip milk with each bite. Mom worries because David only eats two slices, but David doesn’t want to push his luck.

David takes the next day off from training. He eats safe foods like yogurt and chicken noodle soup. Cyn invites him over. When David gets there, HeyMan is already there. Cyn has been sleuthing the internet, tracking down the person who sold David the Jooky dog. It was listed by another competitive eater who goes by El Gurgitator, or The Gurge. The Gurge is known for being unscrupulous and has been accused of cheating multiple times. Cyn points out that there appeared to be dried mustard on the mummified hot dog half, which would be strange for a hot dog in an eating contest. David realizes that she is right.

Cyn has tried to track down Jooky, whose real name is Jeremy, but he is hard to find. If David can prove that the hot dog is a fake, he can get his money back, but he’ll need Jooky’s input, since it came with a letter of authenticity.

The day before the qualifier, David can’t decide if he should gorge or fast. He eats Cheerios with Mal at the table, one by one, until the box is empty.

David watches an interview with Jooky, who is classy and has nothing but good things to say about the sport and his opponents. David hears Mom check the mail and rushes to see what has arrived. Mom says that the mail is just bills. She sets the mail on her bureau and asks David to watch Mal while she runs an errand. David agrees. Once Mom is gone, he finds the Visa bill and knocks the envelope behind the bureau, where it won’t be found anytime soon. David plans to have the money by the time the bill comes next month.