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48 pages 1 hour read

Simon Sort of Says

Fiction | Novel | Middle Grade | Published in 2023

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Chapters 1-5Chapter Summaries & Analyses

Chapter 1 Summary: “In Which We Are Driven Out of Omaha by Alpacas”

Content Warning: This section contains descriptions of post-traumatic stress disorder as a result of surviving a school shooting.

Simon O’Keeffe introduces his life by telling the story that he gives everyone when they ask why his family moved to the National Quiet Zone, a place with no Internet, television, or radio. The National Quiet Zone is this way so that astronomers who work there can pick up radio signals from outer space. Simon’s mother is a funeral director, and his father is a deacon. During the annual “animal blessing” at church (2), some attendees decided to bring in their pet alpacas. One alpaca stopped in the middle of the church aisle and started belting out loudly, and the other soon joined in. Chaos followed as the dogs started howling and an owl got loose. One of the alpacas spat on the priest, and Simon’s dad was fired for forgetting to tell people what pets not to bring.

Simon lives in a town called Grin and Bear it, Nebraska, which is near the Dismal River and surrounding forest. His mother works at a funeral home called Slaughter and Sons. The town is also home to a huge church, where his father found work.

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