Saving 6

“I was twelve years old and a frontline soldier in the war that raged within my family home. The enemy I found myself up against was bigger and stronger, and my ally had abandoned me when I needed him most.”

This metaphor—which compares Joey’s home life to an actual war—conveys the true difficulty of Joey’s situation. While the comparison is hyperbolic in that there is no actual war, it shows just how deeply Joey is impacted by his father—framed here as an “enemy.” He feels as though he is fighting a literal battle to save his life and those of his siblings.

“If Tony knew me, really fucking knew me, he’d quickly realize that his daughter was a hell of a lot better off on her own than with me. I was a bad bet; my mother had as good as told me so on several occasions.”

Ironically, Joey believes that Tony doesn’t “really” know him, yet Tony sees his anger, suspensions from school, and tough attitude. Joey’s belief that he is a “bad bet” just because his mother told him so conveys the theme of The Impact of Family Dynamics on Personal Development. He believes that being his father’s son somehow makes him a bad person and that Tony doesn’t know who he is—even though Tony knows the type of person Joey is and accepts him for it.

“But I had responsibilities that [Aoife] could never understand. I had a sister to protect, brothers to feed, and a mother to keep me up late into the night worrying about. I didn’t have the luxury of time to piss away like Paul had, nor had I the credentials or reputation any father would want in a lad for his daughter.”

Joey’s thoughts about a relationship with Aoife convey how deeply his family’s dynamics impact him. On the surface, he repeatedly blames his responsibilities—like protecting his family and providing for them—for why he cannot have a relationship. However, in the same breath, he also mentions the latter point: that he is bad for Aoife due to his “credentials.” This second point is the one that impacts Joey more deeply, conveying his deep-rooted insecurities over the person he will become because of the family he comes from.

“Every bad, wrong, and dirty teenage-boy characteristic wrapped up in a perfect, fucked-up package. Physically, [Joey] trumped me in every way. Taller. Stronger. Darker. Meaner…Still, I wanted him to come closer.”

Aoife thinks these thoughts about Joey at several points throughout the beginning of the novel: how he is bigger and stronger, and she should be afraid of him. Ironically, she is not, as Joey turns out to be kinder, more protective, and a better person than his exterior suggests. These thoughts also introduce the “bad boy” romance trope, as a “good girl” falls for someone dangerous only to discover that they are a good person on the inside and a product of a difficult environment.

“Addiction ruled [Teddy’s] life. That was the pattern his life had taken, and I hated him for it. But not as much as I hated myself for following in his footsteps. A smoke to sleep, a line to function, and whatever else I could get my hands on to escape. That had been my mantra for a long time now.”

Joey’s thoughts about Teddy are one of the only sympathetic moments for his father in the text. Joey recognizes that what his father struggles with is a situation like his own: The Challenges of Mental Health and Addiction. Teddy has spent years in the cycle of alcohol abuse, unable to escape from it. While it doesn’t excuse his actions, it provides insight as to why Teddy treats his family how he does. These thoughts also convey how deeply his family’s dynamics impact Joey. He recognizes that he is following a similar path to his father but feels powerless to stop it, evidenced by his relying on drugs to “sleep,” “function,” and “escape.”

“Babies weren’t supposed to be made in order to plaster over cracks in marriages, but that’s what this one would be. That’s what each one of us was, temporary plasters to cover the cracks in our parents’ dysfunctional relationship.”

This metaphor, which compares children to “plaster” and Joey’s family to a crumbling home, conveys how deeply rooted the issues are within Teddy and Marie’s marriage, which is a “dysfunctional relationship.” While this metaphor compares living children to concrete, Joey believes it is apt, as his parents have had no desire to raise their children.

“‘You might think that you’re brave enough to take me on, to go toe-to-toe with me, but make no mistake about this.’ Leaning in close, [Joey] pressed his lips to my ear and whispered, ‘You’re not the wolf in our story, Molloy.’ His breath fanned my cheek, causing my pulse to skyrocket. ‘You’re the lamb.’”

Joey uses a metaphor to describe himself and Aoife as he attempts to warn her away from him. He compares himself to a wolf and her to a lamb, conveying the idea that she is innocent, or the prey, while he is dangerous, or the predator. These thoughts convey Joey’s negative self-image and insecurities as he tries to scare her away because he believes that he is not good enough for her.

“Ricey looked at Molloy and saw a pretty face and a smoking body. And for him, that was enough. He didn’t care to scratch the surface. Meanwhile, I knew what she was about and had her personality pegged to a tee. His girlfriend was a mischievous, self-assured, free-spirited, good-time girl with a pure heart and a penchant for trouble.”

Joey’s thoughts emphasize Paul’s role as a foil to Joey in the text. While Paul may seem like the better option for Aoife, Joey recognizes Paul’s inability to care about Aoife and see her for who she is beyond “a pretty face and a smoking body.” Additionally, because of the first-person point of view from Joey’s perspective, it is clear how much Joey cares about Aoife—even as he projects to her that he doesn’t.

“What’s the point in fighting my DNA? This was who I was, and I had a horrible feeling that I couldn’t be fixed or put back together again. I couldn’t reset my life. I was paralyzed and trapped in a body that resembled the person I despised most of all.”

When Joey’s mother finds him high in the parking lot at the bar, his inability to feel sympathy or care how his choices impact her emphasizes how deeply his family’s dynamics impact him. He knows that what he is doing is wrong and harmful, yet he blames it on his “DNA” and the inability to escape who he thinks he is meant to be—simply because his actions “resemble” his father’s actions. The phrase “I couldn’t reset my life” further emphasizes how Joey believes his father has hardwired his personality, paralyzing and trapping him in a body bearing a resemblance he despises.

“I watched as they clamped the umbilical cord that connected him to our mother, and I wondered if the cord that attached me to her had ever been truly severed. It was invisible but still connecting me deeply to the woman who bore me. I wanted to let it all go. To just let the pain and pressure fall from my shoulders.”

As Joey watches Sean being born, he metaphorically compares Sean’s umbilical cord to the way that he is still attached to his mother. Despite his repeated insistence that his mother makes poor choices and endangers them all by repeatedly letting Teddy back into their lives, he still feels a need to protect her that continually “attaches” him to her. Despite this loyalty, Joey also underscores the weight of this responsibility, described here as “pain and pressure” sitting on his shoulders.

“[Joey] hit his head against the doorframe again, causing another pained laugh to escape him. And then he did it again and again. And again. I debated calling Casey for help, before swiftly shutting that notion down, unwilling to get him into any more trouble. Besides, it wasn’t fear for myself that I was feeling. I wasn’t afraid of Joey. No, I was afraid for him.”

The first time that Aoife experiences Joey after he uses cocaine, the violence and anger that he shows shocks her. Ironically, she cares so deeply about him that even his physical violence doesn’t scare her. Instead, she is afraid of what the drug use is doing to him. This interaction emphasizes the challenges of Joey’s addiction, as he is hurting not only himself but also Aoife, as she watches “afraid for him.”

“The hurley and helmet in the corner of my room taunted me with a whole host of demands and expectations that I wasn’t sure I could live up to for much longer.”

This quote personifies Joey’s hurling gear, as he feels like the equipment is taunting him while he uses cocaine to prepare for the first day of his fourth year. This symbolizes just how complicated his life has become. The thing that should bring him pride and success—hurling—instead brings him anger and disappointment, as they are a tether to his father; he feels he can’t live up to the “host of demands and expectations” much longer.

“Reaching up, I cupped [Joey’s] face between my hands. ‘Look at me.’ Reluctantly, he did, and I sucked in a sharp breath at the sight. His eyes were wild and feral. He was visibly shaking with barely restrained anger as he clenched his fists to the point where his knuckles had turned white.”

The moment when Joey misunderstands Kevin and Aoife’s playfighting and chokes Kevin is a pivotal moment in his relationship with Aoife. It conveys how deeply Joey’s home life impacts him, as violence is a regular part of his life, and he misinterprets Kevin and Aoife’s happy relationship. It also shows how Aoife and Joey’s relationship conveys the theme of The Importance of Love and Support. After Joey becomes “feral” and can’t stop himself from attacking Kevin, Aoife calms him down through her touch, unwilling to back down or be afraid of him. Then, she convinces Kevin not to speak to their father, saving Joey’s mistake from costing him his job.

“With Jay-Z and Beyoncé’s ‘03 Bonnie & Clyde’ blasting from the car stereo, a fitting song given the circumstances, I held on for dear life to the dashboard as the wild and reckless boy in the driver’s seat blew my mind.”

As Aoife and Joey spend most of the night together driving around and listening to music, these thoughts from Aoife convey the motif of music and its importance in their lives. This song—with the refrain, “All I need in this life of sin / Is me and my girlfriend / Down to ride ‘til the very end” (Jay-Z. “’03 Bonnie & Clyde.” The Blueprint 2: The Gift & The Curse, 2002)—reflects their mood and feelings in this moment. Together in Aoife’s car, they forget about their problems and can enjoy being together.

“Truth be told, my brain was a scary place to be, and I didn’t want to be anywhere near me most of the time. How fucked up was that? The current piss-poor state of my life was a direct result of poor choices. Choices I had made. Choices that had been made for me by people who were supposed to love me but either didn’t have the capacity to love me or just plain didn’t.”

Joey’s thoughts show the complexities of his character. While he recognizes that he has made bad decisions, he also identifies the impact that his family dynamics have on him. He accepts partial responsibility for the person that he is and the choices he makes. At the same time, he also identifies that he is a product of his environment. As the novel progresses, Joey accepts responsibility for who he is and changes the things in his life that he can.

“With some houses on his street boarded up, and even more covered in graffiti, it was safe to say that Elk’s Terrace had a definitive air of misery about it. There was a burnt-out car at the far end of the dilapidated green near his house, close to where three ponies were roaming freely, grazing on the overgrown grass and weeds. Jesus.”

Due to the first-person point of view, Walsh does not describe Joey’s home from his perspective. Instead, Aoife describes it for the first time when she goes to find him. Although Aoife does not consider her family wealthy—she notes how they “didn’t have a pile of money” and “depended on social housing” (269)—she is still significantly better off than Joey. Her reaction to his home emphasizes their differences in socioeconomic backgrounds, evidenced by the neighborhood having “a definitive air of misery,” boarded-up houses, graffiti, burned-out cars, and dilapidated, overgrown green space. Their different housing environments are another factor that affects their family dynamics’ influence on them.

“Disgusted with myself for barreling over a line I had vowed never to cross, I forced myself to blank her out of my head, something that was a lot harder to do now that I’d had her mouth on me. With Tom Petty’s ‘Free Fallin’’ drifting from the radio at work, I shook my head to clear my depressing thoughts.”

In another moment where the motif of music reflects Joey and Aoife’s feelings, he listens to the song “Free Fallin” shortly after kissing Aoife for the first time. The song’s lyrics about a “good girl” and a “bad boy,” reflect how Joey feels about their relationship. Additionally, the singer’s feeling that they are “free falling” reflects how Joey feels in the moment as if he is overcome by his feelings for her after finally crossing the line and kissing her.

“‘When you didn’t show up last night or answer your phone, I thought you were hurt or worse.’ My voice cracked and I quickly steadied myself before adding, ‘But you weren’t hurt or worse. You just had a better offer.’ [Joey] swallowed the venom in my words and didn’t even try to deny them or fight with me.”

Joey misses his plans with Aoife after his father choked him, he passes out, and uses drugs with Shane. However, his refusal to admit this to Aoife emphasizes his need to hide his situation at home from Aoife. The dramatic irony—where the reader knows what Joey is dealing with but Aoife does not—conveys just how complicated Joey feels his situation is. He can tell Aoife about his father, which risks her telling authorities, or he can hide it from her. He chooses to hide it from her, internalizing or “swallowing” her malicious words, which she metaphorically compares to venom. His unwillingness to let Aoife into his life affects her deeply, evidenced by her voice cracking and needing to steady herself.

“‘You forget that I’ve known you since you were a small boy of twelve,’ [Tony] reminded me as he steered us toward the back door. ‘I remember looking at this small scrap of a lad standing in the garage, down on his luck and with the weight of the world on his shoulders. That small boy asked me for a chance that day,’ he added, voice thick with emotion. ‘I took a chance on that boy, and I’m glad that I did because the man that small boy turned into is a man who I am damn proud of.”

In an important moment for Joey’s character development, he finally tells Tony the truth about his relationship with Aoife. He expects Tony to be angry but is shocked when Tony gives him the support and encouragement that he needs. To this point, he has believed that Tony thought he was a bad person; now, he realizes that Tony knows everything and believes Joey is a good worker despite his struggles with his family, evidenced by his acknowledgment of Joey having “the weight of the world on his shoulders” as a young boy. Tony describing Joey entering his garage as a “small scrap of a lad” and transforming into “a man” who he is “damn proud of” further describes Joey’s maturation and The Importance of Love and Support he receives from Tony.

“I knew that I was extremely selfish for wanting his family, kids included, to back off and leave him alone. I mean, they were little kids, for Christ’s sake. They depended on him. Still, that didn’t stop me from wanting to snatch him away and keep him safe.”

These thoughts from Aoife convey her internal conflict over how to cope with Joey’s situation. Ironically, she recognizes that he is unsafe at home—the place where he should be protected. However, by pulling him out of that home, she is risking his siblings’ lives, as “they depended on him.” Although Aoife wants to “snatch him away” for his safety, she acknowledges that doing so could cause Joey’s siblings to follow an even worse path than him. This duality emphasizes how much more complicated life is than just relying on love to solve their problems, as there are larger external factors and caretaking responsibilities Joey faces.

“He shook his head in frustration. ‘I just don’t know how to not do it.’

‘Not do what, Joe?’

‘Reject human affection.’ My heart. My poor, poor heart. It’s because of your shitty parents. Because they treat you like a dog instead of a son.”

This admission from Joey—that he struggles with accepting affection from others—emphasizes the change that he is undergoing in the text. Although he still has a hard time understanding why Aoife loves him, he can now recognize that fact and attempt to overcome it. Aoife’s blunt language—“It’s because of your shitty parents”—coupled with the simile that his parents treat him like a dog rather than a person allows Joey to begin to understand the importance of support from others.

“Alone in the dark, I couldn’t tell the difference between what was real and what wasn’t.

Shadows danced on my bedroom wall.

I couldn’t feel a thing.

I couldn’t hurt.

No more pain.

No fucking more.”

As Joey uses drugs in his bedroom after months of struggling to overcome his addiction, the novel’s line structure reflects his feelings. Nearly every line is composed of only one short sentence, splicing the scene in his bedroom of his mother finding him high with italics that represent his memories and thoughts. This structure and Joey’s desire to no longer feel pain emphasize the difficulties of addiction. Even as he finds support from Aoife, he still uses substances as an escape from his reality. Here, the structure reflects his drift out of consciousness, where he can’t discern reality from hallucinations.

“‘What do I do?’ Another harsh cry escaped me. ‘How do I h-help him?’

‘He’ll be grand,’ the man told me. ‘He’s not too far gone to be pulled back. And with a lass like you in his corner, he’ll come right. Don’t you worry.’”

The man who helps Aoife carry Joey out of Shane’s house is a metaphorical representation of Joey’s future without Aoife. Although she is asking how she can help Joey in the literal sense, the man answers her more figuratively, insisting that he will be “grand” in life as long as Aoife stands by and supports him—pulling him back from being “too far gone.” Although Joey might not yet understand the importance of support from others, this man emphasizes its importance and provides hope for Joey to change if Aoife stays “in his corner.”