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Chapter 4 encapsulates the differences and similarities between Pipher’s life as an adolescent girl in the 1950s and 1960s and the experiences of the girls she works with in the 1990s and beyond. It opens with the story of Cassie, who came to Pipher for help after being sexually assaulted and blamed for the repercussions the boy faced. Working with Cassie taught Pipher that her experiences were different from the experiences of girls in the ’90s and that she “had to learn from them before [she] could help” (92). Pipher describes her own adolescence, which was to her quite ordinary and filled with love and joy. The greatest challenges Pipher lists are the attitude toward casual smoking, the disdain for divorce, the lack of attention toward abuse, and the “pervasive, low-key misogyny” (94) that impacted most aspects of life. Growing up, boys were considered better at most things, girls were considered necessary for some things, and sexuality was a confusing topic. Two of Pipher’s closest friends got pregnant and both were essentially banished from their towns and social lives. This taught her that sex and boys were things to be avoided at all costs. Additionally, sex as a topic was avoided in conversation, which resulted in many assaults and similar cases going unacknowledged.
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