Recursion

“I know everything feels hopeless to you in this moment, but this is just a moment, and moments pass.”

While trying to talk, Ann Voss Peters down from the ledge, Barry’s rhetoric gestures toward larger themes in the book. Later chapters will challenge Barry’s claim that “moments pass,” as he starts to understand that linear time is only one way of experiencing the world.

“He is always looking back, living more in memories than the present, often altering them to make them prettier. To make them perfect. Nostalgia is as much an analgesic for him as alcohol.”

At lunch for Meghan’s 26th birthday, Julia and Barry compare their memories of a camping trip they took as a family. Barry remembers the night being clear and beautiful, but Julia corrects him, saying they were caught in a rainstorm that ruined the whole experience. This passage indicates the subjectivity of memory that will continue to be important in Barry’s character arc, and it also sets up his eventual decision to let go of his nostalgia and embrace reality.

“Nothing can be controlled. Only endured.”

Barry thinks this while reminiscing about Meghan with Julia. He reflects that his life didn’t turn out the way he expected or wanted, and that the best way to survive is to grit your teeth through difficult moments. By the end of the novel, Barry’s perspective has changed. He begins to understand that he can celebrate his life, and that it’s never too late to pursue the kind of life he wants.