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Turkle quotes Paul Tillich: “Language […] has created the word ‘loneliness’ to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the world ‘solitude’ to express the glory of being alone” (65). Turkle expands on Tillich’s point, writing that “[l]oneliness is painful emotionally and even physically, born from a ‘want of intimacy’ when we need it most, in early childhood” (65).
The need for intimacy is not restricted to childhood or to the home. Social media, Skype, smartphones, Tinder, Zoom, and other apps and devices promise to keep us connected with those we care about, and to find new friends who can enrich our lives. However, Turkle grounds her definitions of work, romance, education, family, and friendship in face-to-face interaction. She consistently maintains that all this online connection delivers the opposite of what it promises, that it sabotages our tolerance for solitude and consequently our capacity for empathy.
In the workspace, managers and administrators have to balance their employees’ productivity and solitude. Younger hires seem less and less tolerant of being alone, and the experience frightens them. Frantic, isolated employees will not work efficiently.
Tinder is supposed to help people find romance, but leads to feelings of dissatisfaction with the current relationship.
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By Sherry Turkle