PS: I Hate You

PS: I Hate You (2024) by Lauren Connolly is a bittersweet romantic comedy that explores themes of grief, rediscovery, vulnerability, and connection. In PS: I Hate You, Maddie Sanderson sets out to fulfill her late brother Josh’s final wish: scatter his ashes across the eight US states he never got to visit. Josh complicates Maddie’s mission by insisting that she travel with Dominic Perry, his best friend and the man who once broke Maddie’s heart. As they journey across the country, Maddie and Dominic face their shared past, and the novel explores themes of Working Through the Complexities of Grief, The Risks and Rewards of Vulnerability, and The Importance of Seizing the Moment.

This guide is based on the Kindle e-book edition published by Berkley Romance, an imprint of Penguin Random House, in 2024.

Content Warning: The source material and this guide feature depictions of sexual content, emotional abuse, physical abuse, mental illness, pregnancy loss, illness, and death.

Plot Summary

Maddie Sanderson, 26, hides in a supply closet during her brother Josh’s wake, frustrated by her mother Cecilia’s performative, influencer-driven funeral arrangements. She is surprised and irritated when Dominic “Dom” Perry, her brother’s best friend, finds her. Years ago, Maddie and Dom briefly became intimate during a breakup between Dom and his longtime girlfriend, Rosaline. Dom later reconciled with Rosaline and married her, leaving Maddie heartbroken.

Later, Dom is revealed to be the executor of Josh’s will. During the reading, personalized letters from Josh to friends and family are distributed. Maddie and Dom share a joint letter, in which Josh asks them to travel to the eight US states he has never visited and scatter a portion of his ashes in each location. He provides sealed envelopes with specific instructions for each state.

They begin with Delaware, spreading ashes in the ocean and following Josh’s instructions to take a photo and toast him with Dogfish Head beer. Maddie is shocked to learn that Dom and Rosaline have been divorced for several months. After drinking, Maddie and Dom share a kiss that turns heated, but Dom stops it.

Maddie, regretting her mistake, flies back to her home in Seattle alone. She avoids thinking about Dom but continues communicating with his brothers, Adam and Carter. At home, Maddie talks with friends Jeremy and Tula but hides details about Dom and the trips. She throws herself into work. Dom emails her to arrange the next trip, and they choose Alabama, where they visit Dismals Canyon. Josh’s letter instructs them to explore the glow worm caves and leave his ashes in the glow.

For the Kansas trip, Josh instructs them to get tattoos. Maddie and Dom get matching “Love, Josh” tattoos in his handwriting. In Arizona, Josh asks them to share stories and reflect on their regrets. Dom shares his guilt over not traveling with Josh, while Maddie shares memories of Josh’s flaws. They bond, and Maddie eventually comes to realize Dom is grieving just as much as she is. During a rushed airport transfer back home after their Arizona trip, Maddie impulsively kisses Dom before they board separate flights. Dom later requests her phone number over email, which she initially refuses but later gives in exchange for an embarrassing photo he offers.

Their next trip is delayed by six months due to busy schedules, but Maddie puts in the effort to maintain a friendship with Dom. She attends a swim meet to support Adam and Carter and texts Dom, who tries to see her but gets stuck in traffic. Their texts afterward show growing affection for each other.

In South Dakota, they hike the Badlands to spread a portion of Josh’s ashes. Josh’s letter rewards Maddie for completing the hike by making Dom sing on their way down. Snow prevents them from reaching North Dakota; they share a hotel room for the night and become intimate. They have sex, and when Maddie eventually returns to work after the trip, she is distracted and anxious about her growing feelings. She commits to attending Dom’s brothers’ graduation but feels insecure about seeing Rosaline until she learns that Rosaline was only invited by Dom’s mother.

Maddie’s friend Jeremy helps her train for her upcoming hike to Alpine Lake in Idaho. Dom visits her in Seattle, resulting in a chance encounter between him and Jeremy, who don’t know about each other and their roles in Maddie’s life. Maddie is forced to confront her inability to be vulnerable with the closest people in her life and makes a conscious decision to change that.

In Idaho, Josh asks them to share their future dreams. Dom says his perfect future includes Maddie—a dream she reciprocates. Dom and Maddie decide to be in a committed, public, monogamous relationship after the trip.

When Maddie returns home, Cecilia shows up uninvited at her office and demands to see Josh’s letters. When Maddie refuses, Cecilia blames Maddie for her father’s absence and belittles her. Maddie cuts ties permanently but internalizes her mother’s insults. Her emotions get the best of her when Dom misses his flight to meet her in North Dakota due to a plumbing emergency at Rosaline’s house. Feeling insecure, Maddie believes he chose Rosaline over her again. She spreads ashes alone, after which she has an anxiety-induced asthma attack.

After returning from North Dakota, Maddie isolates herself in Seattle until Adam and Carter visit. Dom arrives soon after to speak with Maddie and read Josh’s letter that was meant for North Dakota. The letter instructs Dom to speak and Maddie to listen. Dom confesses he’s loved Maddie all along, married Rosaline out of obligation after learning she was pregnant, and got divorced after Josh’s diagnosis reminded him to be true to himself. Dedicated to proving he will never leave Maddie, Dom moves to Seattle, takes a job, and waits for Maddie to give him a second chance.

On the second anniversary of Josh’s death, Maddie and Dom share a hug but don’t get back together. Instead, Maddie begins therapy to work through her emotional roadblocks. They eventually travel to Alaska to scatter the final ashes, but Maddie has a panic attack and faints before she can do so. They retreat to the nearest town, where they discover a shop where the stationery from Josh’s letters is sold. They also find a puzzle in the shop that is made from one of Josh’s photos. It reveals a photo of Rosaline and Josh together in Alaska. They visit Rosaline, who shares that she and Josh were in love and spent his final year together in secret after she and Dom split.

Maddie and Dom confess their love and reunite. Maddie cries for the first time in years—happy tears. In the epilogue, Maddie and Dom revisit each location with their—and Josh’s—loved ones. In Alaska, Maddie gives Rosaline Josh’s remaining ashes, giving her the opportunity to choose when and where she spreads them.