Promises I Can Keep: Why Poor Women Put Motherhood Before Marriage

The American middle-class views unwed, low-income pregnancies as tragic “barriers” to a woman’s “future achievement, short-circuiting her chances for what might have been a better life” (170). Yet study participants view young motherhood as their salvation that bestows meaning on their troubled lives. Fifteen-year-old Zeyora, for example, reports that having a baby provided her with a new challenge, while Allison, who used to have a heroin addiction, explains that her pregnancy turned her life around and gave it a new, positive meaning. Twenty-three-year-old Amanda notes that motherhood motivates her to better herself for her son’s sake. Many women also report a lack of friends or supportive family to Edin and Kefalas, a situation known as relational poverty. Their children counter this loneliness. Sonia, a young mother, says she had a baby to fill an emotional void in her life, and Jennifer reports that her son provides her with company and happiness. Motherhood also provides these women with a “source of validation, for they believe that childrearing is something they can be good at” (176).

However, these women must demonstrate good motherhood to fully attain this validation. When their community sees them with “a clean, healthy, and well-behaved child” (177), these women garner respect.