Prep

Lee thinks that who she was before Ault—a good student from a middle-class family in Indiana—isn’t compatible with Ault, and she tries to become someone else. Who this other person is remains elusive to Lee and the reader. Lee’s identity construction contains many variables. She makes it seem like she’s not in charge of who she is: It’s up to the other Ault students to validate her persona.

At first, as Lee has no friends, she can’t build an identity. She admits, “I was exhausted all the time by both my vigilance and my wish to be inconspicuous” (25). She doesn’t want anyone to pay attention to her, as that would pressure her to be someone specific, and Lee feels like she could be anyone, from the thief to Gate’s girlfriend to Adam Rabinovitz. By the spring of her freshman year, Lee wishes she could be a “cocky high-school boy, so fucking sure of my place in the world” (110).

With boys, Lee seems more comfortable. At the mall, she has a pleasant time with Cross and her friends, and she isn’t shy about confronting her male targets in Assassin. Her dialogue with boys reveals aspects of her identity. She is witty and assertive, but this isn’t the kind of identity Lee wants to build.