51 pages • 1 hour read
Hilton uses the metaphor of a spirograph numerous times in her novel. She says, “I don’t see time as linear; the ADHD brain processes past, present, and future as a Spirograph of interconnected events” (6). One time, she uses this metaphor when she discusses her father taking her from a New York City restaurant to be sent to Provo. She follows this scene with a discussion about Repo! The Genetic Opera. Hilton describes this as a father/daughter story about one loving father who makes a bad decision “to protect his fragile daughter” and another bad father who makes a good choice to “empower his damaged daughter” (162). She uses the spirograph motif to describe how she and her father are both of these groups of characters and also to describe how her mind moves from one topic to the next.
Hilton’s memoir sometimes flips from topic to topic in a near stream-of-consciousness style. She says, “It’s easy to follow my bliss because my bliss is whatever interests me at any given moment. My brain chemistry craves sensory input. Sounds, images, puzzles, art, motion, experiences” (7). This understanding of ADHD makes the spirograph an apt metaphor for her brain and her mental health condition.
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