50 pages • 1 hour read
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Content Warning: This section of the guide contains detailed descriptions of self-harm, disordered eating, stalking, physical and sexual assault, emotional abuse, suicidal ideation, and anti-LGBTQ bias.
Much of Pageboy is an exploration of Elliot Page’s journey toward self-discovery and self-acceptance. This theme ties together the book’s nonlinear narrative; Page’s decision not to tell his story chronologically reflects his life’s twists and turns. He admits that his journey has been long and difficult and that he has spent “much of [his] life chipping away toward the truth, while terrified to cause a collapse” (9). The book does not progress from adolescence to adulthood but is rather a collection of memories and thoughts that formed the many steps of Page’s journey toward coming out as transgender in 2020.
Further complicating his self-discovery, Page describes many of the obstacles on his journey, including the things that kept him in the closet. He battles toxic Hollywood gender expectations, “the pressure to appear more feminine” (103), and experiences both anti-gay and anti-trans bias from fellow actors, who continually question and invalidate his identity. He faces internal struggles resulting from this scrutiny and discomfort, and this inner conflict makes his journey of self-discovery all the more complicated. His journey is “two steps forward, one step back” (9) as he navigates these challenges.
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