75 pages • 2 hours read
Ordinary Hazards
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Nikki Grimes
Content Warning: The source text contains references to and descriptions of child abuse, substance use and addiction, sexual assault, and trauma. The text also contains outdated and stigmatizing language and descriptions surrounding mental health conditions. Additionally, this study guide quotes and obscures the author’s use of the n-word.
Nikki Grimes is the author, narrator, and protagonist of Ordinary Hazards. She is a Black writer who grew up in different parts of New York, and the book is a memoir about her tumultuous childhood experiences. She also explores the beginnings of her desire to become a writer.
A young Nikki feels unloved and neglected, and she thus has a low sense of self-worth. The only person who reliably looks out for her and takes care of her when she is a child is her older sister, Carol, who is a child herself. The lack of love and support Nikki receives despite the abundance of relatives contributes to Nikki’s belief that she is undeserving of love. This belief is reinforced by the abuse she experiences from babysitters and foster parents in her early years.
Despite these negative experiences, however, Nikki proves to be strong and resilient. Especially when she is younger, her faith is what protects her. Nikki believes that God and his angels are watching over her, and despite the lack of familial love, she does feel like there is someone she can turn to for comfort and company. Simultaneously discovering what affection and care can look like via the Buchanans, and the cathartic power of writing, Nikki begins to come into her own and develops a stronger sense of self-worth. Love and accomplishment together help Nikki gain confidence and experience joy, as explored in the themes of The Role of Emotional Support in Building Resilience and The Healing Power of Creative Expression.
Nikki’s success at overcoming the hurdles of her early life can also be chalked up to her intelligence and natural talent. She displays an aptitude for language and creative expression early in her life, and this potential is stoked by her father and her teachers. Her father exposes her to a variety of art, literature, and ideology, while her teachers encourage and appreciate her writing and academic efforts. Nikki thus embodies multiple perspectives, which contribute to her world view and her own potential for success.
Combined with Nikki’s talent, however, is her emotional maturity that steers her clear of trouble throughout her life. Despite the dangers she faces on the streets of Brooklyn, she stays away from engaging with any of the street gangs for protection. Furthermore, she learns from her brushes with street violence to be smarter and more prepared. Nikki is not immune to feeling rage or violent tendencies; she does get into a couple of violent altercations with other girls when she is an adolescent, and she almost stabs Clark in anger when he hurts Bernice. However, Nikki quickly recognizes that these are not productive ways of dealing with negative emotions and uses the tools at her disposal—writing and self-expression—to sublimate her feelings and deal with her problems constructively.
At the beginning of the book, Grimes clearly identifies “Nikki” as herself, but also confesses that the name is a self-assigned one. She refuses to disclose her birth name, and “Nikki” is the identity she adopts for herself throughout the book. Grimes also confesses in the Author’s Note that it was difficult for her to write a memoir because she has lost so many childhood memories to the trauma she experienced; a number of events, and even the notebook entries, are reconstructed from memory (317). While a memoir presupposes subjectivity of perspective, this incompleteness of recall further adds to this element. In some ways, Grimes the author and “Nikki” the protagonist are the same person, but they are also distinct within the context of the narrative.
Bernice
Bernice is Nikki’s mother. In the prologue, Nikki suggests that Bernice is a source of great heartache by touching on her negative experiences with her. As the book progresses, Nikki’s many experiences establish that Bernice is the main source of conflict in Nikki’s early life story.
Nikki describes Bernice as a beautiful, short-statured woman. Bernice is constantly stressed and overworked, as following her separation from Nikki and Carol’s father, she becomes a single parent. Bernice finds it hard to cope with this situation because of her added personal challenges of alcohol addiction and schizophrenia. She turns to the former to escape her worries, which exacerbates the latter. As a result, Bernice spends numerous stints in psychiatric hospitals throughout her daughters’ early lives.
Nikki’s experience of Bernice is as a neglectful and dispassionate mother. Bernice is constantly away, initially working, but later also due to her involvement with different committees. Bernice’s absence is not just physical, however; she turns a blind eye to her daughters’ troubles, dismissing their experiences actively and passively. She refuses to believe Carol about the “Demon” babysitter until she walks in on the situation herself; later, when there is an implied incident involving Carol and Clark, Bernice turns Carol out of the house rather than protect her.
Similarly, Bernice appears incapable of giving Nikki the love, warmth, and stability she needs. She shoots down Nikki’s dream of being a writer and ignores the kind of abuse and violence Nikki is in danger of both inside their home and outside of it. Bernice does not seem tuned into her daughter’s needs, especially the kind of consistency and relationships her daughter needs. The constant moving of homes and schools causes Nikki to lose touch with important, nurturing relationships in her life for a time, including her father and sister.
Bernice’s portrayal in Ordinary Hazards is entirely through Nikki’s lens, and so it is unclear how intertwined Bernice’s mental health conditions and her shortcomings as a mother are. Nevertheless, she is not painted entirely as a villain. Nikki acknowledges that there are sides to Bernice she never experienced as her daughter: Bernice is kind and generous to strangers, especially those in need. She also appears socially and politically aware and involved, especially with respect to causes concerning Black rights and equality, like the civil rights movement. These details suggest that Bernice is more layered and complicated as a person than the book allows for. However, within the context of Nikki’s life and memoir, Bernice remains the largest source of conflict, pain, and instability to Nikki, especially during her early years.
Carol Grimes
Carol Grimes is Nikki’s older sister. She is an important presence in Nikki’s life, serving as a protective force in her early years and a safe haven in later ones. Carol, like Nikki, is mature for her age in the story. Her role as an older sister additionally sees her as caring and protective, especially over Nikki. During their mother’s long absences as young children, Carol is the one who ensures that Nikki is fed with whatever she can get her hands on. She is also the one who instigates their escape from a foster home in which they were being abused; unfortunately, this inadvertently led to their separation, as Grandma Mac handed them back to the authorities.
Carol is an intermittent presence in Nikki’s life for a long time, especially during Nikki’s time with the Buchanans, and later with Bernice and Clark. Through the distance between the sisters, Nikki still feels connected to Carol and misses her constantly. Carol proves her reliability and maturity time and again: She often helps with Bernice’s hospital admissions and is a sympathetic and trustworthy confidant when Nikki finally tells her about Clark.
Just as Nikki is motivated to not just survive but thrive, Carol, too, takes concrete steps to change her life. At just 17, she is working at a job and earning enough to rent her own apartment. Nikki moves in with her shortly after Carol turns 18, and Carol’s life is stable enough to support her younger sister as well. Carol is not only a constant source of support to Nikki but a reminder that she can turn things around despite her upbringing.
Nikki’s Father
Despite never being mentioned by name, Nikki’s father is one of the most important presences in her life. While working at a clothes factory during the day, Nikki’s father’s true skill and passion is music. He was a violinist who wrote and performed chamber music.
Nikki’s father is a kindred spirit in her life. He recognizes his daughter’s talent and affinity for the arts and introduces her to different kinds of literature and art form. Nikki thrives intellectually and artistically under her father’s mentorship, and the exposure she gains because of him greatly shapes her art and world views.
Even more important than Nikki’s father’s artistic and cultural tastes, however, is his clear affection for his daughters. He is a warm and loving presence, especially in Nikki’s later years. After the incident with Clark and Bernice, Nikki stays with her father briefly, and she revels in the comfort and safety she feels in his house. She deeply misses him during the years that Bernice orders him away, and Nikki reflects on how her mother’s occasional affection never makes up for her father’s warmth.
Despite his love for his daughters, Nikki’s father was not a reliable or responsible parent. He was frequently absent from his daughters’ lives when they were younger and refused to take responsibility for them they were turned over to foster care. Nikki’s relationship with him is a closer one when she is older and less reliant on him for her basic needs; however, there are still moments when he disappoints her and lets her down, failing to keep up his promises numerous times.
In contrast to how Bernice is painted in a largely negative light, Nikki’s father is portrayed lovingly, for the most part. However, just as there are glimpses of a different side of Bernice, Nikki similarly makes it clear that her father was not perfect. In the grand scheme of things, however, what is more important is the warmth, love, and encouragement he gave her when she really needed it.
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