58 pages • 1 hour read
Not Without My Daughter
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Symbols & Motifs
The Chador
Throughout the narrative, the chador represents the oppressive gender norms and restrictions imposed by Iranian society. For Betty, an American woman accustomed to a more liberal and egalitarian lifestyle, the chador becomes a physical manifestation of the cultural clash she experiences upon her arrival in Iran. The act of donning the chador is not merely a change of clothing but a surrender to a set of rules that dictate women’s behavior and visibility in public spaces.
The chador also becomes a tool for violence when Betty is encircled by the Iranian morality police, the pasdar, and ordered to correct the mistake of showing a piece of hair. The chador adds to Betty’s troubles, as she has to show her husband that she is able to adapt to the Iranian lifestyle. The chador’s significance extends beyond its literal function as clothing, for it encapsulates the broader theme of cultural oppression and underscores the stark differences between American and Iranian lifestyles.
The Nasr
When she feels cornered by her circumstances, Betty seeks help from God. The term nasr, which is rooted in Islamic tradition, represents a plea for God’s assistance and mercy. These moments underscore Betty’s coping mechanism and her attempt to find solace and support beyond the tangible hardships that she faces. Betty’s nasr becomes a recurring motif, symbolizing one of the few elements that transcend the cultural divide in the narrative. Betty, as a Christian, accepts the practices of Islam for a short time, due to her belief that the two religions share the same God. The nasr moment in Chapter 16, when Betty asks to be close to her daughter, also highlights Betty’s adaptability and her willingness to engage with the cultural and religious aspects of Iranian life when it provides protection for herself and her daughter.
Mahtob’s Bunny
On her trip to Iran, Mahtob brings with her a bunny, which is described as “a cheap, flattened, stuffed animal about four feet tall, emblazoned with white polka dots on a green background” (13). The bunny is a symbol of innocence and familiarity and represents a tangible link to Mahtob’s American identity. Mahtob’s bunny also becomes a source of emotional comfort and stability for the child in the face of the challenging circumstances that she encounters in Iran. In Chapter 24, at the climax of the narrative, Mahtob struggles with her attachment to the toy but ultimately decides to leave her bunny behind, reflecting her active participation in the escape and her determination to retain her American identity, as the following exchange between Mahtob and Betty illustrates:
‘I want to go to America, but not right now. I want to go home and get my bunny.’
I fought to stay calm. ‘Listen,’ I said, ‘we bought the bunny in America, right?’ She nodded. ‘We can buy a new one in America. Do you want to go to America or do you want to go back home to Daddy?’ Mahtob dried her tears. I saw in the eyes of my six-year-old daughter a growing sense of determination, and I knew instantly that Moody had not beaten her into submission. Her spirit was bent, but not broken. She was not a dutiful Iranian child: she was my resolute American daughter. ‘I want to go to America,’ she decided (448).
In the Postscript, Betty writes that they “have been unable to find a duplicate” (517) for the bunny, pointing to the uniqueness of the toy. This aspect mirrors the irreplaceable aspects of Mahtob’s lost innocence after the challenges she faced in a foreign and restrictive environment.
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