Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life

Rosenberg’s model of NVC aims to reconnect readers with an inherently natural way of being: compassionately giving. He suggests that humans flourish when they are connected authentically to their inner selves and to others. Compassionately witnessing those around us allows us to hear and understand their needs. We are unfortunately led away from this state of being through problematic societal conditioning. This maladaptive conditioning “disconnects us from our compassionate nature” and leads to violent and exploitative behavior, causing us unhappiness (1).

Instead of being trained with the skills to clearly express our needs and receive the needs of others, we are highly trained in analyzing the “perceived wrongness of others” (53). This way of thinking relies on the misguided premise that “other people cause our pain and therefore deserve punishment,” even if that punishment is our internal condemnation (147). Professor O. J. Harvey’s research, cited in Chapter 2, supports Rosenberg’s position on the socially conditioned nature of conflict, which relates that “classifying and judging people promotes violence,” meaning that those societies where judging others is normalized (rather than a norm of non-judgmental acceptance and seeking to understand others’ needs) experience a higher level of violence and crime (18).