Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life

Life-enriching communication or actions enrich our lives by fulfilling our needs, or by communicating clearly which unmet needs we have. Life-enriching actions can be undertaken by ourselves or by others. We can perform life-enriching actions for others by attending to their needs once we have discerned them through NVC.

Life-alienating communication moves us away from a focus on met or unmet needs and toward a focus on blaming and judging ourselves or others. This fosters anger and violence, rather than empathy; empathy is the cornerstone of productive, nonviolent communication. People tend to get defensive and unwilling to meet our needs if we communicate in a life-alienating manner; this can happen even if we are thinking this way but don’t verbalize it.

Needs are what people require to feel fulfilled, happy, and respected. Some needs include trust, love, reassurance, peace, rest, and acceptance. Rosenberg suggests using positive action language to communicate with the people around us when our needs are not being met.