No One Writes To The Colonel

Balthazar, a 30-year old carpenter, finishes building a bird cage after two long weeks. He hangs it under the eave of his shop and a crowd gathers there. All agree that it's "the most beautiful cage in the world" (106).

When Balthazar returns home from the shop, his wife, Ursula, tells him he looks "like a Capuchin" (106) and needs to shave. Balthazar tells Ursula it's "bad to shave after lunch" (106), so Ursula tells him to lie down and rest. While Balthazar tries to rest, he gets up from his hammock several times to show the cage to his neighbors. When Balthazar wakes from his nap, Ursula has ironed his clothes and put the cage on the dining table. Ursula asks Balthazar how much he will charge for the cage. Balthazar says he will ask for thirty pesos and hope to get twenty pesos. Ursula says he should ask for fifty, which is "nothing for Mr. Chepe Montiel" (107). In fact, Ursula says, Balthazar should ask for sixty pesos.

Later, Dr. Octavio Giraldo, an elderly local physician, comes by Balthazar and Ursula's to see about the cage. Dr. Giraldo's ailing wife loves birds, so he hopes to buy the cage for her as a gift. Many people, including a group of children, have crowded into Balthazar's living room to marvel at the cage. The cage has three stories with "compartments especially for eating and sleeping" (107) and a swing "for the birds' recreation" (108). Dr. Giraldo thinks the cage is "better than its reputation" (108). Dr. Giraldo tells Balthazar that he "would have been an extraordinary architect" (108).

After complimenting the cage, Dr. Giraldo says he'll "take it" (108). Ursula, however, says it's already been sold to the Montiel family—their son ordered the cage "specially" (108). Dr. Giraldo asks Balthazar if the Montiel's son gave him the cage design and Balthazar says he did not, only that he wanted a cage large enough "for a pair of troupials" (108). Dr. Giraldo says the cage isn't for troupials. Balthazar says the measurements are calculated specifically for troupials. Dr. Giraldo counters that there is no proof that this cage is the one Balthazar was asked to make. Ursula tells Balthazar he could just make another one. Dr. Giraldo, however, says he promised this one to his wife that afternoon. Balthazar apologizes to Dr. Giraldo, saying he can't sell him "something that's sold already" (109). Dr. Giraldo asks how much the Montiels paid for the cage and Ursula says, "Sixty pesos" (109).

Meanwhile, at the Montiel's house, José Montiel and his wife, Adelaide, take their afternoon siestas. Balthazar arrives with the cage and "the clamor of many voices" (110) rouses Adelaide from her sleep. Adelaide invites Balthazar inside and exclaims the cage is "a marvelous thing" (110). Balthazar asks if Pepe, the Montiel's son, is home. Adelaide says Pepe is still at school. José Montiel emerges from the bathroom in his underwear, "obese and hairy" (110), with a towel around his neck. Balthazar, having already done some "minor carpentry jobs" (110) for the Montiels, needs no introduction.

José asks Balthazar what's with the cage and Balthazar replies that it's "Pepe's cage" (111). José and Adelaide look perplexed and Balthazar feels as though "someone had just opened the bathroom door on him" (111). Pepe appears just then, a 12-year-old boy as "quietly pathetic as his mother" (111). José asks Pepe if he ordered the cage and the boy doesn't reply. José turns to Balthazar "in a fury" (111) and apologizes. José says Balthazar should have consulted with him before making the cage for Pepe. He tells Balthazar to take the cage away and try to sell it to anyone he can. José also tells Balthazar not to argue with him about the matter, as his doctor has "forbidden" (112) José "to get angry" (112).

Pepe, who hasn't moved or spoken during the exchange, suddenly lets out "a guttural sound, like a dog's growl" (112) and falls to the floor, screaming. Adelaide tries to calm Pepe while José tells his wife not to pick him up. Balthazar approaches Pepe, holding out the cage. Pepe embraces the cage. José "softly" (112) tells Balthazar to take the cage away and Adelaide tells Pepe to give the cage back to Balthazar. Balthazar tells Pepe to keep it and reminds José that, "after all" (112), he made it for Pepe. José follows Balthazar out of his house, telling him he has "no intention of paying" (113) Balthazar for the cage. Balthazar says he made it "expressly as a gift for Pepe" (113) so it doesn't matter. José begins yelling, cursing, and turning red as Balthazar leaves the house.

Balthazar makes his way to the pool hall, where he's "received with an ovation" (113). Balthazar begins to feel a little excited. He lies and says the Montiels gave him sixty pesos for the cage. The pool-hall customers say Balthazar is the only one to get "such a pile of money" (113) from José Montiel. They buy Balthazar a beer and Balthazar buys a round for everyone in the pool hall.

By dusk, Balthazar, who has never gone drinking before, is drunk. He begins talking about "a fabulous project" (113) of thousands, then millions, of sixty-peso-cages. Balthazar says they need to make "a lot of things to sell to the rich before they die" (113). Everyone in the pool hall toasts to Balthazar's health and "the death of the rich" (114) but they all leave him by dinnertime.

Back at their house, Ursula waits for Balthazar until 8 p.m. Someone tells her that Balthazar is in the pool hall, buying beers for everyone, but she doesn't believe it. By midnight, Balthazar is at the dance hall, having spent so much that he had to pawn his watch and "promise to pay the next day" (114). Balthazar passes out in the street and feels someone steal his shoes, though he doesn't try to stop them. By five in the morning, the women heading to Mass pass Balthazar, thinking he's dead.