Necessary Roughness

Chapter 1 introduces the protagonist and narrator, Chan Kim, and establishes two main themes explored in the book: The Personal Impact of Faith and Navigating Cultural Difference, exemplified by the arguments between the American Chan and his strict, Korean father as the family prepares to move from Los Angeles to a small town in Minnesota. Chan’s casual suggestion that the family leave their old Buddha statue behind exemplifies both these themes: “We say grace before meals, which means we’re Christians, which means we have no need for a Buddha statue—right?” (1). His father responds with anger, perceiving Chan’s suggestion as insubordination and as displaying a lack of care for his Korean roots. At this point in the story, Chan has not yet understood that both Christian and Buddhist faith traditions are central to his father’s identity. Meanwhile, Abogee has not yet accepted that his children are growing up in a different cultural context and forming their own identities. Even the name that Chan uses for his father—Abogee—reflects the distance between them: He calls his mother O-Ma—equivalent to the familiar “mom” in English—while his father insists on being called not Appa (dad) but Abogee—equivalent to the formal “father.” Over the course of the novel, both Chan and Abogee will have to learn to understand each other.

Throughout this section, Chan and his father continue to skirt around the tension between them, but privately they yearn for connection. Chan looks at his dad’s Korean-English Bible and reflects that, while he understands Korean and speaks it with his parents, he cannot read it. He longs to read his father's notes, representing his longing for a stronger connection with his dad: “I would’ve given a lot to know what the writing in the margins said. I guess I would’ve given a lot to know anything, only I didn’t want to have to ask him” (38). His curiosity and desire for connection do not win out over his pride and fear of communication.

Abogee’s Bible is a symbol of his religious faith as a source of stability as he navigates his life in America. Korean churches are a vital source of community and a point of access to resources and services for many Korean immigrant families, and Abogee even learns English through a religious context. His interest in the Bible provides spiritual and social comfort and represents the effort required to teach himself a new language, move to a new country, and choose to raise his kids there, reinforcing the theme of The Personal Impact of Faith. The decision he made to leave Korea creates an inherent difference between himself and his children—they fundamentally do not understand his experience, and his expectations for them often clash with their experience growing up as Americans. This truth, along with their stubborn tendencies, is the source of Abogee and Chan’s tension. As Chan works with his father in their store, he longs to ask him how he’s doing: “The words were sitting right on my tongue, but at the last minute I swallowed them. Abogee would probably get angry if I asked, like I was questioning his authority, his Abogee-ness” (48). Again, Chan’s yearning to connect is shut down by his fear of Abogee’s harsh words. Abogee has set himself up as a figure of unquestioned authority within his family, and this authority requires that he never show vulnerability. Chan’s own fear of vulnerability is in part a reaction to this posture. Both of their character arcs will require that they learn to be vulnerable with each other and to see each other as complex people rather than simply as father and son.

Abogee’s assumed authority extends to his brother, Bong: He feels a duty to support the irresponsible Bong despite the problems it causes for his nuclear family. His desire to distinguish himself from Bong’s attitude and work ethic even pushes him to be harder on his children, who are uprooted from their home and community in LA and thrust into a new and challenging environment. Chan’s mother is also disappointed to have left her Korean community in Los Angeles, but she handles it with grace and patience, even intending to learn more American recipes in her time with Mrs. Knutson. Her approach contrasts with that of her husband, demonstrating a different way that immigrants can interact with their new country without shedding their old identity. Mrs. Knutson and O-Ma exemplify the positive results that can arise from Navigating Cultural Difference, as they learn from each other and treat each other with kindness.

Through Chan’s Latino friend Manuel in LA, the author introduces the topic of racism and its multifaceted presence in America. In fact, the first discriminatory comment heard in the book comes from Abogee himself, who states that soccer is only for “dumb wetback Latinos who ended up working in Korean stores for peanuts” (12). Abogee’s comment exemplifies the “model minority myth.” The title of “model minority” is often applied to Asian Americans because they are perceived as studious and successful, but this myth ignores the discrimination and systemic barriers Asian Americans must overcome, elides the different circumstances faced by different Asian American groups, and also separates Asian Americans from other communities of color, fostering resentment and further racism. While largely propagated by white-dominated culture, the “model minority myth” emerges in Abogee’s beliefs as he tries to put distance between his family and another group.

In addition to the culture clash within his own family, Chan now must reckon with The Difficulties of Coming of Age, complicated by the racism he encounters in Iron River. One important aspect of Chan’s coming of age and clash of cultures is his reckoning with his emotions and how to express them. This is demonstrated in the scene with his mother in Chan’s new attic room. Throughout the past two days, Chan watched his mother navigate complicated dynamics with his father, financial fears, and racism in different forms. Without the vocabulary for what he is observing, he tries to pay his mother a compliment but says, “[A]s always, when I want to say something nice, something totally stupid and whiny comes out” (30). He continues throughout the book to struggle with expressing himself, especially to parents who he feels do not fully understand him.

This section covers many firsts for the Chans in Minnesota and expands on the cultural conflicts present in Chan’s life there. Iron River High School is much nicer than Chan’s old school in LA, where graffiti littered the walls and the dress code was limited to “you couldn’t wear gang-related stuff” (41). Iron River is a wealthier area than where the Kims previously lived, and that creates tension for the newcomers as well. The twins are almost immediately othered by their fellow students, demonstrating that their Asian American identity takes on a different meaning in this new context. In their old neighborhood in Los Angeles, people of all races were present, and white people were a minority. Here in Iron River, nearly everyone is white, and the Kims are frequently viewed as outsiders because of their race even by people who do not intend any harm.

Though he loves sports, Chan doesn’t understand or care to understand the importance of American football to the people of Iron River and many midwestern towns. While Chan remains disinterested, these chapters begin to explore football’s place in American culture, including its connection to American masculinity. For example, the Monster uses an anti-gay slur to claim that soccer is unmasculine, making clear that for him, American football is an expression of normative masculinity. Mikko even uses an argument about girls to entice Chan to join the team: “[D]oesn’t hurt with the chicks, either” (52). Chan is annoyed by this language and these regressive attitudes, feeling like he has stepped into a time machine. His decision to try out for the team anyway reflects his desire to find an outlet for his athletic talent—a core component of his developing identity—even in this hostile new environment.