45 pages • 1 hour read
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At their father’s behest, David and Lisa take part-time jobs at cafeterias in two different malls. Lisa works the steam tables at K&W. David is a dishwasher at the Piccadilly and spends most of his time there working with a hot, noisy industrial dishwasher while “fantasizing about a career in television” (85).
David imagines starring in a sitcom opposite a “brilliant and loyal” proboscis monkey named Socrates. Each episode would involve traveling to new locations, and each one would end with David “[reminding] both my friend and the viewing audience of the lesson I had learned. ‘It suddenly occurred to me that there are things far more valuable than gold,’ I might say, watching a hawk glide high above a violet butte” (87). Plotting out these episodes proves difficult, and David often struggles to complete the “It suddenly occurred to me that…” formula. He observes his ex-convict coworkers for inspiration and finds their behavior “lazy” and uninspiring.
David’s job becomes more demanding during the Christmas season, making it much harder to concentrate on his imaginary adventures. He develops a resentment of the mall’s customers, regarding them as vapid “sheep.” Likewise, he regards Lisa as “joyfully normal” and depressing.
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By David Sedaris