Murder Road

Murder Road explores the very unconventional first few days of Eddie and April Carters’ marriage, as their honeymoon unexpectedly becomes a quest to solve a string of murders. Beyond the story of the Atticus Line killings, however, author Simone St. James explores April and Eddie’s personal story: They are in love and determined to build a life together, but they both struggle with past trauma, only some of which they have shared with each other. As the novel unfolds, April in particular faces down her personal trauma to build a lasting relationship with Eddie. Each time their relationship is tested, April considers how previously she would have walked away, but now she instead recommits to making their marriage and their life together a permanent reality. April works to overcome the lessons that a traumatic childhood and manipulative mother have taught her. In her previous life, she learned to be always ready to leave everything behind at a moment’s notice, and that skill kept her alive and out of prison. Now, to build something real and lasting with Eddie, she has to unlearn some of the instincts her childhood taught her.

The first obstacle that April faces in her relationship with Eddie is that she simply doesn’t know what a deep and lasting relationship looks like. She has kept her relationships deliberately light, and because of this, everything that happens with Eddie is completely new to her. She has no idea what to expect, even when they are just dating: “Was that dating? […] under the quiet exterior of our time together, it felt like I was being pulled open, the threads of me unraveling as every part of my life came apart at the seams. I didn’t recognize this life” (174). April feels the vulnerability of an intimate relationship, and at times, it chafes against her experience. When she and Eddie fight, she wonders, “Was this what marriage was going to be like? The two of us in a standoff when we didn’t agree?” (90). This illustrates the first obstacle to April’s new future: her lack of experience with deep relationships.

This lack of experience means that April is constantly faced with unprecedented situations that cause her to instinctively consider her old methods of escape. She reflects, “I could get out of the car and get away from this, from him, from how I was feeling” (90). However, as she does throughout the novel, April shows her commitment to Eddie, her new life, and breaking out of old behaviors: “This was my life now, this car, this man […]. I’d run for survival before, but this wasn’t survival, and I wasn’t a coward” (90). April draws a line between her past and present behavior, citing the differing motivations behind the running as the reason for making a different decision. Throughout the novel, April is courageous in a variety of contexts, and she has shown bravery in her past life as well. With this comment, she shows that she is discovering a new kind of courage—the courage to stay, rather than to run.

Even though April doubts herself, she shows repeatedly that she is committed to the relationship, even to the point of putting herself in danger. She confronts the Lost Girl in the wake of Quentin’s revelations about the full truth of her past, reflecting, “I had to make it right with Eddie, and I would. I would make all of it right. I wouldn’t run or hide. If I wanted this life, life as April Carter, no one was going to give it to me” (229). Even as the stakes get higher and April faces real danger, she stays committed to breaking her old patterns of behavior, showing a determination to transcend her past trauma to create a new life with Eddie.