60 pages • 2 hours read
“A lot of people thought I was pretty—they used the word pretty, not beautiful. I was high school yearbook kind of pretty, not the kind of beautiful that made men crazy. Still, before Eddie I’d been asked out all the time. There’s no accounting for taste.”
April depends on her “pretty” looks, as she has done all her life, to help her get what she needs, while also making her forgettable. The final sentence, however, shows April’s perception of herself, when she says there’s “no accounting for taste.” She makes it clear with that offhand comment that her opinion of her looks, and herself, differs from those around her.
“My childhood was a 1970s nightmare, filled with dark, garish colors and deep shadows, like Rosemary’s Baby. Once I got out of that childhood, I never looked back.”
Throughout the novel, St. James uses pop culture references to illustrate and emphasize her points. Rosemary’s Baby was a novel by Ira Levin, but much more famous is the Roman Polanski film based on the book, released in 1968. In it, Polanski builds a tense and claustrophobic home environment, complete with Satanic cult neighbors, that builds to a horrific birth scene. By connecting her childhood to this film, April attempts to convey the horror of her childhood in just a few words, without detail.
“Assert your authority, I wanted to tell him. Act like you are already in control that’s how you dominate someone bigger than you.”
April is watching Eddie interact with police officer Kal Syed in the wake of Rhonda Jean’s death. At this point in the novel, April believes that she is tougher and more experienced in difficult situations than Eddie is. This belief is based on her own history, however, and doesn’t take into account The Difference Between Appearance and Reality.
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By Simone St. James
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Fear
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Revenge
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The Past
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