Mistakes We Never Made

Emma thinks that Nikki, like all of her friends, is beautiful and sweet. However, her breakup with Aaron has made her want to appear perfect and be less vulnerable. Looking at her outside of the elevator, Emma thinks it’s impressive that she looks so put together for a last-minute trip to Las Vegas.

Finn’s phone rings, and he steps away to take it. Emma says that they were just about to go look for Sybil. Nikki mentions that she has seen the video of Emma fighting with Aaron, and Emma apologizes. Nikki says that she can take care of herself. Emma wonders why she thinks it’s her job to look after everyone. Nikki says that they should get back to Emma’s “BOAT man,” her “best of all time” (190). She calls Finn this because, when they were traveling in Europe together, Emma had drunkenly told her about making out with Finn in the pool years ago.

Emma calls Willow, who says that Sybil’s parents are worried about her. Emma thinks it might be time to tell Jamie what’s going on. They see him in the lobby and start to go over to him when a bachelorette party spots Nikki. They recognize her from the reality TV show she was on, LovedBy. A woman from the party starts to flirt with Finn. When he politely rebuffs her, she continues her advance, touching his chest. Emma snaps at her and accidentally knocks the phone out of the hand of another member of the bridal party. The first woman pushes Emma. Finn intervenes. A security guard comes over and assumes that Finn is the problem. Emma says that she pushed the other woman. When someone from the bachelorette party references the video of Emma throwing the burrito at Aaron earlier in the day, the security guard asks her to leave. Finn thanks her for getting involved. Emma recognizes that she has feelings for him.

Jamie then tells her that he has heard from Sybil.

Jamie has a voicemail from Sybil. She’s clearly drunk and says that she loves him. She apologizes for missing the welcome party and says that they’ll talk soon. She does not answer when he calls her back. Emma lies and says that they’re supposed to meet her at the club, following their initial story of being in Vegas for an impromptu bachelorette. She immediately feels guilty. She knows that Sybil and Jamie love each other.

Jamie says that they’ll go with the girls to the club, but Finn suggests that they go see the boxing match he and Emma got complimentary tickets for. He whispers to Emma that they have to tell Jamie the truth if the fight ends and they still haven’t found Sybil. The boys depart, and Nikki and Emma go off to find Sybil.

As they search, the talk about all of the times Sybil has gone missing, only to have crazy adventures. Emma makes a mental note to talk about these incidents during her maid-of-honor toast, which she has struggled to write. They also discuss the sadder stories, like when Emma found Sybil crying the night of high school graduation, afraid to face the end of high school. Then, Nikki turns the conversation to Emma, Finn, and Finn’s suggestion that she should open her own design firm. Nikki agrees. Emma doesn’t think it’s practical, even if it’s nice to imagine.

Unsuccessful in their hunt for Sybil, they go to meet Jamie and Finn. Just before Emma is about to tell Jamie about Sybil, she remembers the conversation in which Sybil said she thought that Jamie was “the only one who can weather all [her] storms” (206). Emma believes this is true about Jamie, and she tells him that the truth is that Sybil wants to be alone. Jamie thanks her and says to let him know as soon as Sybil is ready to see him again. He goes back to the hotel.

They have until 9:00 am to find her, because that’s when the plane is scheduled to go back to California.

Finn, Nikki, and Emma look again at Find My Friends and learn that Sybil is not in Las Vegas. She seems to be on her way to Albuquerque. Finn and Emma decide to go after her, and Emma thinks that she can’t let herself get distracted by Finn. However, their hands overlap on the center console in the car as they get on the road.

Finn is exhausted when they make a pitstop, and reluctantly, he agrees to let Emma drive. Emma thinks about how they haven’t talked about making out in the elevator. She knows that the tension between them will rear up again.

Finn falls asleep immediately, and Emma thinks about how much she likes to drive. She thinks about her dad. She remembers driving to the University of Texas to watch a football game with him when she was seven. By the next year, he had left. After that, he called twice a year, and when Emma was accepted to UT for school, she called him, hoping he’d drive her for her first day. He never showed.

Finn wakes up around three in the morning and suggests that they stop at the next exit, for Hualapai Mountain Park, and rest for a few hours. At the park, he pulls a blanket and hammock out of the backseat. They sit in it together, and Finn says that he thinks Sybil is going to Albuquerque because her high-school boyfriend lives there. He hopes that’s not the case.

Emma mentions that her dad lives in Arizona and that she hasn’t seen him in eight years. Finn thinks it’s awful that her dad left his kids. Sharing a story about his dad, he thinks that people have to be capable of unconditional love if they want to have kids. Emma isn’t sure she loves her dad unconditionally. Finn replies that kids can choose whether they love their parents or not, but romantic love isn’t something a person can control. Emma disagrees, arguing that a person can avoid loving someone if they think it’s a mistake. Finn argues that sometimes making the mistake is what’s most important about love.

Finn gets up from the hammock, saying he’s going to sleep in the car. Emma says that she’s not sure she’ll be able to sleep. Thinking about their past and not wanting to be away from him, she says that she doesn’t want to make a mistake and get hurt. She adds that she wants to put her trust in him, but he replies that she doesn’t let herself trust anyone. She needs to be in control. Emma is furious but doesn’t think he’s wrong. She doesn’t want to control him.

Emma kisses Finn. She feels the chemistry between them and senses that this is a fresh start for them. He asks if she’s sure about this, and they have sex. Afterward, they fall asleep together.

Waking first, Emma lies against Finn, doing the 3-3-3 rule where she thinks about three things she sees, hears, and feels. Finn wakes up, and Emma is excited about the potential of a future with him, though she worries he still doesn’t want a relationship.

They have sex again before getting on the road, but in the car, Emma starts to worry. She decides that once they’re home, it’s over. She doesn’t want this to be a mistake, feeling like Finn can hurt her. He’s broken her heart before, and she knows he has the potential to do it again.

Over breakfast, Emma says that the night before was a one-time thing. He asks her why, and she replies that they are “[j]ust two people getting something out of their system” (233). She knows she’s lying and watches the optimism fade from his eyes as he agrees.

The car ride is awkward, and Emma tries to make up for it when they stop for gas by buying his favorite snacks. When she comes back to the car, she hears Finn on the phone with Sybil, reassuring her that she should be with someone who wholly adores her. Emma is relieved that finally someone has been able to get in touch with their friend and asks if he asked her to meet them at the Albuquerque airport. Finn is shocked when he realizes she heard him.

Finn says that he was leaving Sybil a voicemail. Emma wonders why he’s so nervous. She presses him, and he says that what she overheard was referring to prom night. Emma wonders what she doesn’t know about Sybil and her reasons for running away from the wedding. She asks Finn to tell him what happened at the hospital with Sybil when they were in high school, and Finn reminds her that it’s not his business to be the one to tell her and that she doesn’t have a right to know everything about everyone’s lives. When Emma responds that she’s just trying to take care of the people she loves, Finn shoots back that he’s clearly not one of those people.

Emma considers that she looks for stability and control because her father’s decision to leave was out of her control. She turns away from him in the car, angry that she let herself be vulnerable with him again. She doesn’t think she can trust him.

Finn’s phone rings, and it’s someone named Christine. Finn explains that he’s at a wedding but doesn’t have a date. He adds that he’ll text her when he gets home. Emma teases him, hiding her own hurt. Finn pulls over, saying that there’s a problem with one of the tires. When he rebuffs her attempt to help, she is furious and suggests that they should go back to Los Angeles. Finn thinks they should keep going. Emma takes his keys and gets in the driver’s seat. She locks the doors and demands that he get in and agree to go back to LA. She also gets to drive.

As they drive, Finn yells at her to stop because of a raccoon. She comments that he’s always trying to rescue someone, including Sybil and his dad. She regrets saying it, but he replies that she tries to control everyone’s lives, including her sister’s and Nikki’s. Emma says that the trip was a mistake, and Finn tells her that she should let herself not be perfect and forgive others for not being perfect.

Thinking of the wedding where they fought, Emma takes her eyes off the road and loses control of the car.