Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life

Rafe cannot believe Jeanne is in trouble. He knows it is his fault. Mrs. Stricker asks them to explain what’s going on. Rafe tries to take the blame: “‘It’s not her fault,’ I said. ‘I went in there first, and I wouldn’t come out’” (228). Mrs. Stricker points out that being in an opposite-sex bathroom means mandatory detention. Rafe apologizes to Jeanne profusely. He calls out to Mrs. Stricker, who turns and watches Rafe as he runs into the girls’ bathroom.

Even though he got detention along with Jeanne to show support for her, Rafe is still down on himself because he broke the game’s most important rule: Nobody gets hurt besides himself, so this means the game is over. He says:

So not only was I flunking out of middle school and not only had I hurt everyone who’d been nice to me along the way, but I’d also crashed and burned—in my very own game.

End of story, right? Rafe Khatchadorian equals total loser. Nothing more to tell (232).

Rafe says there is more to tell. He has Leo tell the story with four pages of illustrations (233-37). The illustrations show Leo confronting Rafe, who says it is all over for him. Leo scratches out his words. Leo tells Rafe he must draw his final project. Rafe points out this would break the middle school code of conduct. Leo chews up a drawing of the middle school code of conduct and spits it out. He tells Rafe the time has come for him to draw. Rafe says Leo is crazy. Leo says, “Normal is boring” (237). This encourages Rafe to believe it is time for him to go out in a blaze of glory with his final project.

At 4am, Rafe takes his black marker, camping flashlight, practice sketches, and goes to HVMS. There is a blank wall on the back of the building. Beginning slowly, he uses his marker to illustrate the wall. He continues to draw until the sun rises and two policemen arrive and get out of their car: “‘Holy smokes, kid,’ one of them said. ‘Did you really do all this?’ (241). The next two pages (242-43) show the wall, focusing upon an image of Rafe as a knight standing atop the school, which looks like a castle, as he fights off his teachers, portrayed as ogres and monsters. He dumps copies of the conduct book into a bonfire while sad-looking students stand behind barred windows.

This chapter consists of a one-page drawing of the police car driving away with Rafe and Leo in the back seat and the illustrated wall in the background.

Rafe reminds readers that it was just him and Leo in the back of the police cruiser. Originally, he said that Rafe, Leo, and Georgia would be in the back of a cruiser, which means that he still has one more ride in the police car to go.

When Bear hears what Rafe has done, he chases Rafe all over the house until Jules “told him to calm down or she was going to call the police back herself” (246). Jules orders Rafe to go to his room until further notice. Leo tells Rafe that he has pulled off a masterpiece, though Rafe fears he will go to the federal penitentiary.

At lunchtime, his mother comes to ask him why he’s done this. Rafe wonders if the school will expel him. She does not know but says there will be a conference at school the next day. That evening, Rafe hears the doorbell, signaling things are about to go from bad to worse.

Jules answers the door to find only a package on the porch. It contains photocopies of all the pages of Rafe’s notebook. Bear and Jules stand on the front steps, arguing loudly. Suddenly, Jules cries out, and then gets quiet, “but not in a good way” (252). Running toward the front door, Rafe encounters Georgia, who screams for him to help Jules.

Rafe describes coming onto the front porch and seeing that his mother has fallen down the steps. He tells Georgia to call 911. Jules tells Bear, who is standing next to her, to get away from her. He apologizes, saying that it was an accident.

Rafe jumps off the porch and pushes Bear away from his mother as hard as he can. Rafe stands there until the police come with two cruisers and an ambulance. Officers take Bear away while the medics examine Jules’s wrist. They take her to the hospital to X-ray her wrist. Georgia and Rafe ride in a police car behind her to the hospital. Leo whispers that he will get in the car and go with them.

Rafe reports that his mother is okay. The doctor puts an ace bandage on her arm and calls a taxi to take them home. When they arrive, Rafe sees that someone put all the pages back into the envelope and left it on the porch.

There are messages from Bear on the answering machine that Jules erases without listening to the return phone number. She tells her children that things will be changing, beginning with Bear not living with them anymore, which means she can stop working double shifts at the diner. Rafe says, “Now we did cheer. This was the best news I had heard in forever” (258).

Rafe apologizes for his part in what has happened. When Jules tries to console him, he sees her bandaged arm and begins to cry. Jules says that Rafe has made some mistakes but that she has made some mistakes too. They discuss that Leo’s motto, normal is boring, is something Leo probably got from Jules.

When Rafe arrives at school the next day, people point at him and talk about him. Standing by the trophy case, Miller loudly asks if Rafe got his package. Rafe instantly runs straight at Miller, hitting him hard in his stomach. Miller swings back and hits Rafe in the nose. They fall onto the floor, rolling and throwing punches. Mr. Dwight sees them and pulls them apart. Rafe realizes he fought Miller the Killer and survived. He says, “That’s more than anyone in the whole school probably would have expected from me. Including me” (264).

Mr. Dwight makes it official that HVMS will expel Rafe for the year. He tells Jules Rafe can continue to do his school assignments at home and re-enroll in the fall in the sixth grade.

The phone rings, and Mr. Dwight tells the caller he is in a parent’s meeting. The door opens, and Mrs. Donatello, the caller, enters. She has a suggestion on Rafe’s behalf. She produces a brochure from Airbrook School, which she says could be a perfect environment for Rafe. Looking at Rafe, she says, “You’d have to take a longer bus ride, but I think you might like it there. The school is a combination of visual arts and academics for nontraditional learners” (267). Donatello explains it is a school for artists. She says he might get a need-based scholarship. Airbrook would need to see a portfolio of his work to evaluate his potential. At that point, Jules opens her purse and takes out the photocopies of Operation R.A.F.E.

They spread the pages across Mr. Dwight’s desk and look at them. Rafe says now everyone can see exactly how much of a juvenile delinquent he is. Though Mrs. Stricker thinks this explains Rafe’s behavior, his mother says that is not the important thing to her. Donatello says she understands this could help him build his application to the art school.

Jules explains that Rafe is named for the artist Raphael and Georgia for Georgia O’Keeffe. She explains that she named all of her children after artists she admires. Then, Jules relates that Rafe also had a twin brother, Leonardo, named for Leonardo DaVinci. Leo died from meningitis when the boys were three years old: “‘It was a long time ago,’ Mom said, looking at me now. ‘But even so, Leo is still with us in spirit. Isn’t that right Rafe” (272).

Rafe explains why he never said that Leo died. He says he remembers a little about Leo, but they were both very small when he died. Because it was so quiet afterward, he kept Leo around as an imaginary friend. Rafe hopes one day he’ll find a real human best friend, but in the meantime, he wants to keep his brother close.

Mrs. Donatello makes one more suggestion. She says she thinks it is a good idea for his expulsion to stand and for him to stay out of school for the fourth quarter of the year but then enroll in a full schedule of summer school classes. Rafe is reluctantly willing. As the adults consider Donatello’s suggestion, Rafe speaks up, “‘Maybe I could do a real mural too,’ I said. ‘With paint and everything. Something for the school, like, to say I’m sorry’” (277). Donatello says she would supervise if they could move forward. They discuss the fact that there cannot be any behavioral issues. Rafe agrees that he will try to be good. He says he feels he owes it to everyone who has tried to help him.

Rafe describes where he is currently. Bear officially moved out of the house, forgetting his secret stash of Zoom. His mother works only breakfast and lunch at the diner and comes home every night. Rafe says that Jeanne called to ask him how he was, and he explained his situation. His mother does not let him stay home alone, so he must go to the diner with her. He does his school assignments and then washes dishes, sweeps, or cleans up. Swifty, Jules’s boss, gives him a free lunch every day.

Rafe talks about how boring it had been until he got another idea—one as big as Operation R.A.F.E.—“except, this mission wasn’t a game. It was more like a special project to help me pass the time. And guess what? You just finished reading it” (281).