Men Explain Things To Me

Conservatives say that marriage equality is “a threat to traditional marriage” (59). Advocates often deny this but “maybe we should celebrate that threat rather than denying it” (59). Solnit explains that to understand how marriage equality could “metaphysically” threaten traditional marriage, “you need to look at what traditional marriage really is” (59).

Marriage equality normally means “that same-sex couples will have the rights different-sexed couples do” (60). However, it can also mean “that marriage is between equals” and “that’s not what traditional marriage was” (60) for most of Western history. Rather, “laws defining marriage made the husband essentially an owner and the wife a possession” (60) with little to no protection from destitution, abuse, and violence and little to no say over her own life.

According to Solnit, feminism has helped to make “same-sex marriage possible by doing so much to transform a hierarchical relationship into an egalitarian one” (62), opening up the possibility of marriage between people of the same gender and the same legal or social standing. Lesbians and gay men have also “opened up the question of what qualities and roles are male and female in ways that can be liberating for straight people” (62). Moreover, “when they marry the meaning of marriage is likewise opened up” (62).