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Decker’s exceptional ability also separates him from common human experience. He believes he has lost the ability to process certain emotions, like empathy or sympathy, and can’t relate to others in a normal way.
Decker only seems able to respond appropriately to two people—his wife and his daughter. This slim connection to humanity puts him at great risk: When his wife and daughter are murdered, Decker contemplates suicide because he has no one left to ground him.
Aside from the way in which his gift isolates him, its greatest downside is its inability to let him forget. The murder of his family is forever stored in his consciousness in specific detail. It can be recalled at will but can also intrude into his thoughts at any time. Decker views his perfect memory as far more of a curse than a blessing:
It was all still there, like a cinema screen on the inside of his eyeballs. It would always still be there. He often wanted to forget what he had just seen. But everything in his head was recorded in permanent marker. He either dialed it up when needed or it popped up of its own accord. The former was helpful, the latter infinitely frustrating (9).
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By David Baldacci