47 pages • 1 hour read
As Greg prepares for his encounter with Rachel, he begins to fantasize about how she will react to him since she now believes he’s been in love with her for five years. His fantasies only amplify his anxieties; he wonders if she’ll want to talk about death or get married or have sex. Greg expects Rachel’s room to look like a hospital room, so he is surprised, when he arrives, and it looks like a typical teenage girl’s room, complete with shirtless posters of Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig. Greg attempts an inelegant zombie-like hug, which Rachel declines. Nervous, Greg comments on the number of Rachel’s pillows and jokes that his parents would never buy him that many pillows out of fear that he would masturbate on them. This causes Rachel to snort, and Greg sees it as a challenge to keep her laughing, so he improvises more reasons his parents believe him to be an intimate lover of pillows. Greg receives an inappropriate text from Earl, and Greg assures Rachel she does not want to know the details of the message since it has to do with the combination of food and oral sex. Rachel asks how he and Earl became friends, and Greg replies that they are both weird.
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