Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed

Self-realization is one of the key processes of a healthy psyche. Some of the main goals of psychotherapy are dealing with life in a healthy manner, understanding how our own personalities work, and overcoming various stresses of daily existence. Self-understanding is something we undergo throughout our lives if we are open to interpreting impulses, desires, and emotions that govern us, and therapy helps us achieve higher levels of self-understanding through the presence of a “guide”—a therapist who is there to facilitate the process and give us tools that will help us cope with the demands of life. As we learn to understand the way our psyche works—how our subconscious sometimes tricks and manipulates us—we learn the best ways to recognize and deal with such occurrences, and this helps us become better versions of ourselves. 

In the world of the book, John starts therapy having persuaded himself that everyone around him is an incompetent fool, and he feels slighted, misunderstood, and neglected. This is his self-perception at the outset, but through therapy, he begins to gain self-understanding, which allows him to see that what he perceives as the world rejecting him is John rejecting the world after the traumatic death of his son, Gabe. Lori leads him through the maze of his complex, convoluted feelings, and offers him a way to see himself without the illusions that his hurt psyche has produced. He then starts to rebuild his life with a full range of emotions and with an ability to share himself with his family. Similarly, Rita’s will to live suffocates under her heavy burden of guilt. She learns to understand that the past belongs in the past and that she needs to start reshaping her present so that she will have a future, reaching the full potential and a good quality of psychic life in her elderly years.

On the other hand, Julie’s self-realization comes because of her acceptance of imminent death. Even though she is terminally ill and full of justified rage, Lori helps her realize she can experience the fullness of her life within the time she has left by accepting her feelings and learning to appreciate the love that surrounds her. Charlotte’s moment of self-realization begins with her understanding that she suffers from alcoholism, and as she stops hiding behind false ideas and destructive choices, she begins to see her options and decides to go into an addiction treatment program.

The author utilizes all these examples of self-understanding bringing about self-realization to illustrate how individuals can benefit from therapy. By including herself in this group, however, Lori reminds us that this is a communal experience; we all participate in the life experience that is full of challenges, regardless of our profession or skill. Lori’s self-realization comes when she learns to deal with her fear of death and loneliness, and as she reconfirms her belief in her work as a therapist, which she does through treating her patients and through writing this book.