Lucky Broken Girl

Ruthie gets crutches from Dr. Friendlich in March of 1967, when she has finally healed enough to be rid of a cast. Immediately, the fear sets in: “I’m a turtle without a visible shell […] I can’t get up. I can’t. I can’t” (172). For both Ruthie and the reader, the crutches are thus a symbol of her fear of learning to walk again. This fear stems from the idea of breaking her leg a second time. Her legs feel foreign and strange to her from lack of use; they even look strange, with wasted muscle and an abundance of hair growth.

Amara arrives after two nurses have given up on teaching Ruthie to use the crutches. Amara is tough and fearless; her insistence on Ruthie’s capabilities propels Ruthie to learn how to walk on the crutches, transforming their meaning. Now, the crutches symbolize a way to contend with other fears, like traversing stairs and returning to school. Finally, when she no longer needs them, the crutches turn into a symbol of Ruthie’s fears of moving beyond what’s happened to her, and she clings to them desperately. However, when Amara takes them from her, Ruthie again proves to herself that she can proceed despite her fear.