Lost in the Sun

The impact of guilt and the path to self-forgiveness are two heavily linked concepts throughout the novel as Trent struggles against his overwhelming guilt about Jared Richards’s death. Trent understands that it was an accident but also thinks, “[A]ccident or not, Jared Richards died, and I was the reason, so what was the difference? Either way I killed him” (17). Trent feels that he is responsible for Jared’s death, regardless of his intentions, and he cannot move past this fact. This is demonstrated by how he fills his Book of Thoughts with pictures of Jared dying in unrelated accidents or doing “the stuff Jared might be doing that very second if [he] hadn’t hit him with that hockey puck” (40). Trent’s guilt occupies his thoughts almost all of the time, making it difficult for him to focus on other aspects of his life.

Trent explains his mindset to Fallon in Chapter 10 when she tries to assure him that he is not responsible for the accident. Trent doesn’t believe that it matters and explains, “Whether it was on purpose or not, I did something bad. Somebody died. And if I just…stop thinking about it, if I don’t even feel bad, then what? If you do something bad, you’re supposed to feel awful” (130).