Looking for Alaska

After puzzling over Alaska’s behavior for the earlier part of the novel, Miles and his friends learn that her moodiness and emotional outbursts stem from guilt. This is revealed during the best day/worst day game, when Alaska refers to the worst day of her life as the day that her mother died of an aneurysm. Alaska was eight years old at the time and was paralyzed with fear upon witnessing her mother’s collapse, which was why she did not call 911. Instead, she sat next to her mother’s body until her father arrived home and made a futile attempt at resuscitation.

Not only was this a tragic loss, Alaska feels guilty for not calling for an ambulance, and she suspects that her father blamed her to some extent, at least initially. Her friends try to comfort her but there is little that they can say, and Alaska regards her guilt as a heavy load that she has to carry for the rest of her life. As Miles reflects, this new information also frames some of her previous comments in a new light. For instance, when Alaska said that her mother no longer smokes, Miles thought little of this remark but now realizes that it carries a weightier, morbid significance.