Klawde: Evil Alien Warlord Cat

Using his mind-meld technique, Klawde learns that Raj loves him, and he finds this a curious feeling but is gratified to realize that Raj will serve him and make sure that he gets what he needs. Klawde realizes that Raj can use his opposable thumbs to help build a teleporter. The cat reasons, “Since [Raj] suffered from this love affliction, he would do my bidding without question” (91).

On Friday night, Raj tells Klawde about how miserable camp is. Meanwhile, Klawde yowls and jumps at the closed door of Raj’s room. When Raj finally says that he just wants to move back to Brooklyn, the cat looks at Raj, “and then Klawde said something. In English” (96).

Desperate for Raj to stop talking and help him, Klawde explains that his real name is Wyss-Kuzz and that he was banished across the universe. He lies and claims that he was a kind and peaceful warlord. Raj is thrilled because he has the coolest cat in the world, and he thinks it’s adorable that Klawde’s real name is Whiskers. Klawde tries to argue that his name is Wyss-Kuzz, not Whiskers, but Raj insists, “Sounds like Whiskers to me” (100).