Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982: A Novel

“Jiyoung was starting to feel like a stranger to Daehyun. After all this time—the stories they shared, as countless as raindrops, the caresses as soft and gentle as snowflakes, and the beautiful daughter who took after them both—his wife of three years, whom he married after two years of passionate romance, felt like someone else.”

Daehyun acts surprised that his wife feels like someone else. But he has been standing by as she gives up her career, income, friends, and physical and mental health to care for the child that resembles them both. Jiyoung has been estranged from her former life and therefore is estranged from the man who shared that life with her.

“The combination of her tone, expression, angle of head tilt, position of shoulders, and her breathing sent them a message that was hard to summarize in one sentence, but, if Jiyoung tried anyway, it went something like this: How dare you try to take something that belongs to my precious grandson! Her grandson and his things were valuable and to be cherished; she wasn’t going to let just anybody touch them, and Jiyoung ranked below this ‘anybody.’”

Jiyoung’s grandmother is one of the first people to initiate her into gender hierarchy. Jiyoung is taking sips of baby formula. But grandmother perceives her as stealing from a more significant family member: the lone male child. In the eyes of her family, she is less than “anybody” when it comes to a boy’s well-being. The pattern established in childhood will follow her through every phase of her life.

“Abortion due to medical problems had been legal for ten years at that point, and checking the sex of the fetus and aborting females was common practice, as if ‘daughter’ was a medical problem.”

Official “family planning” policies exacerbated the existing preference for male children in South Korea. Mother and her in-laws were disappointed when her first two children were girls. Grandmother was especially insistent upon the importance of a male heir. When Mother was pregnant with a third girl, she was able to abort the pregnancy because having too many female children is regarded as a “medical problem.” But the preference for boys is by no means biologically determined: It flows from structural, cultural, economic, and legal forces. Boys are viewed as necessary because they can support their parents later, but the reason that women are less able to support their parents is that they are discriminated against in the workplace. The preference for boys is seen as a justification for discrimination when it is actually an effect.

“The unbelievably meager wages from working day and night, popping caffeine pills, and turning jaundiced went toward sending male siblings to school. This was a time when people believed it was up to the sons to bring honor and prosperity to the family, and that the family’s wealth and happiness hinged upon male success. The daughters gladly supported the male siblings.”

Mother sacrificed her education and career ambitions to send her brothers to school by performing dangerous underpaid labor. This quote describes a situation from Mother’s childhood and uses the past tense. But the priority and privilege afforded male children continue into the present as do the engrained habits of girls supporting their brothers.

“Teachers were in the habit of saying that girls are smarter. Students also thought that girls were smarter, more mature, and better with detailed work, but they somehow always elected boys to be class monitors.”

Leadership roles at school are not awarded based on academic merit. If they were, more girls would be leaders. Instead, boys are allowed honors and privileges simply because they are boys. Korea is portrayed as a patriarchal rather than a meritocratic society, as Jiyoung will see again when she enters the workforce.

“One of her friends got a bouquet of flowers from her father when she started her periods, another had a family party complete with cake. But to most girls it was a secret shared only among mothers and daughters. An irritating, painful, somehow shameful secret. It was no different in Jiyoung’s family. The mother avoided referring to it directly, as if something that should not be said out loud had happened, as she offered her ramen soup.”

Jiyoung’s mother treats menstruation as a “shameful secret” rather than a normal part of female development. Embodied stigmas of femininity contribute to an atmosphere of ignorance and gender discrimination. Female biological processes like menstruation, pregnancy, birth, and postpartum recovery are treated as annoying impediments throughout the novel, by both male and female characters.

“Uncomfortable and anxious, Jiyoung lay awake next to her sister that night and calmly went over the things that had happened. She thought about menstruation and ramen. About ramen and sons. Sons and daughters. Sons and daughters and chores. A few days later, she received a gift from her sister: a cloth pouch the size of her palm containing six regular sanitary pads.”

Unequal portions of ramen symbolize male privilege within the household. The ramen incident memorably occurs on the night when Jiyoung has her first period. She and her sister are alert to the special challenges women face. Her brother, meanwhile, blithely accepts his privilege as if given by right.

“Entering high school meant a sudden expansion of her geographical and social world, which taught her that it was a wide world out there filled with perverts.”

High school initiates Jiyoung to a world of unwanted attention from boys and men, a lifelong pattern illustrating the novel’s major theme of sexual harassment as a form of gender discrimination. Jiyoung’s mother once pointed to a map and told her daughters to imagine a “wide world” (39-40). But when Jiyoung ventures out on her own, she finds that the “wide world” is an arena for a population of “perverts.”

“The girls stowed away repulsive, frightening experiences with males deep in their hearts without even realizing it.”

Sexual harassment is a form of gender discrimination. It harms women’s lives and careers, and it is prevalent throughout the business and social setting of the novel. One of the most insidious impacts of sexual harassment in the narrative is the mental health toll on women. It causes anxiety, anger, humiliation, and disgust in many female characters in the story, and it begins accumulating in girlhood. Jiyoung’s story shows how the pain of harassment is compounded by silence: Euphemism and victim-blaming coerce women into silently accepting such treatment, causing wounds to fester and grow.

“Jiyoung grew up being told to be cautious, to dress conservatively, to be ‘ladylike.’ That it’s your job to avoid dangerous places, times of day and people. It’s your fault for not noticing and not avoiding.”

Jiyoung’s father responds to her frightening stalker experience by blaming her. Victim-blaming is practiced at home, at school, and in the workplace, putting the responsibility for sexual harassment on the victim rather than the perpetrator. Her father would sooner blame her clothing choices than her stalker—for stalking.

“Jiyoung couldn’t tell if the mother felt sorry for her daughter or for her younger self, but she offered her words of consolation.”

Jiyoung’s mother is worried that she may have pressured Eunyoung into attending teacher training college because that had been her own ambition. Mother is a complex character who expresses many traditional gender attitudes but also has modern ideas about women’s career opportunities. Jiyoung intuits her mother’s mixed emotions of hope for her daughter and regrets about herself.

“Jiyoung discovered that she wasn’t as introverted as she’d thought she was when she didn’t have the opportunity to think, or form and express opinions. In fact, she turned out to be surprisingly friendly, sociable, and fond of being in the spotlight.”

Jiyoung’s character develops during her college years. Her earlier shyness and introversion stemmed from constricting social expectations rather than from her authentic personality. The novel shows women who are forced into subservient, secondary roles find it difficult to know and express their desires and aspirations.

“I’m not here to support you […] If the club needs brightening up, get a lamp. God, I’m sick and tired of this place, but I’m gonna keep fighting tooth and nail until the day a woman becomes president of the hiking club.”

The boys in the hiking club exhibit misguided chivalry, praising girls for beautifying the club and constantly offering to assist them on hikes. Seungyeon rejects their oppressive idealization of women, indicating that women don’t want to smile politely and be helped. They want to lead. Seungyeon is part of a series of women who model speaking out for Jiyoung. When Jiyoung begins speaking in other women’s voices, one of the first is Seungyeon.

“Even the usually reasonable, sane ones verbally degrade women—even the women they have feelings for.”

Jiyoung is disillusioned with her hiking club peers when she overhears them discussing her sexual availability in crude, demeaning terms. A man who has always treated her respectfully to her face is the crudest one behind her back. The scene foreshadows the behavior of male employees toward their female co-workers in the bathroom spying episode. A “boy’s club” atmosphere contributes to the cultural prevalence of sexual objectification, harassment, and exploitation of women.

“When companies posted open recruitment notices for the second half of the year, Jiyoung felt as though she was standing in a narrow alley clogged with a thick fog, which turned into rain and fell on her bare skin.”

The image of a narrow, foggy alley symbolizes the condition of women searching for jobs in a male-dominated labor market. Forces of gender discrimination, sexual harassment, and male privilege restrict women’s opportunities and obscure their dreams.

“Mother’s rage put a stopper in Father’s twaddle and restored his hiccups.”

In a remarkable moment of character development, Mother slams the table and admonishes Father for telling Jiyoung to focus on finding a husband. Mother’s powerful rejection of gender stereotypes shows her support for her daughters’ career ambitions. It also sheds light on the relationship between Mother and Father: She has the final word. Jiyoung has never seen her father hiccup. The passage suggests that a paradoxical effect of patriarchy is male ineffectuality. Men in the novel with too many privileges and advantages fail to develop strength of character.

“The marketing agency was hired to help the clients, who were usually older upper-management males, and liked to wave their antediluvian sense of humor in her face. Relentlessly, the jokes kept coming, and Jiyoung could not figure out what the punchline was, or what to say in response. If she laughed, they read it as encouragement to keep going. If she didn’t laugh, they asked her if something was wrong.”

Workplace sexual harassment is euphemized as “jokes.” This framing allows men to harass women with impunity. Jiyoung is forced to accept the behavior by a frustrating predicament: Laughing encourages them, but not laughing offends them. The men are in a position of power over her; they are older male clients in management roles. Workplace sexual harassment often correlates to abuses of power.

“Jiyoung was standing in the middle of a labyrinth. Conscientiously and calmly, she was searching for a way out that didn’t exist to begin with.”

Jiyoung has just learned that she was passed over for a work project because the boss only wanted men. The image of a labyrinth with no exit captures the absurd trap of gender discrimination: Women face a wall blocking advancement at every turn. The labyrinth has no exit just as the corporate world has no way up for women.

“The world had changed a great deal, but the little rules, contracts, and customs had not, which meant the world hadn’t actually changed at all. She mulled over Daehyun’s idea that registering as legally married changes the way you feel about each other. Do laws and institutions change values, or do values drive laws and institutions?”

This is the thesis statement of the novel. South Korean laws and institutions have evolved significantly in the past few decades to allow opportunities for women that were unimaginable by even recent generations. But changes in the law have not led to significant changes in the day-to-day lives of most women. Progress is hampered by “the little rules, contracts, and customs” that exert power to oppress women. Laws have not changed values as much as values have slowed the implementation of laws. English-speaking readers will be able to think of many examples of this phenomenon in their own countries.

“I’m putting my youth, health, job, colleagues, social networks, career plans, and future on the line. No wonder all I can think about are the things I’m giving up. But what about you? What do you lose by gaining a child?”

The sacrifices women make to become mothers far outweigh the changes men undergo when they become fathers. Daehyun is willing to “help out” with their baby, not realizing that this leaves the bulk of the childcare labor to Jiyoung. To perform this unpaid work, she will have to give up her career. Daehyun is portrayed as being kind and considerate, but even well-meaning men become complicit in gender disparities in a patriarchal society.

“Things were more absurd than sensible, and the company was a place where one reaped far less than one sowed, but, being an individual who did not belong to any group, Jiyoung realized that the company had been a fortress for her.”

Jiyoung’s workplace is depicted as a place of gender discrimination, sexist comments, and harassment. But her job was also a source of pride, collegiality, and stability; it was a “fortress for her.” Giving up her career is a major blow to her confidence and agency, despite the many indignities and challenges she suffered during it. These conflicted emotions underscore the struggles working women face when starting families.

“This idea of ‘maternal love’ is spreading like religious dogma. Accept Maternal Love as your Lord and Savior, for the kingdom is near!”

Cho Nam-Joo employs verbal irony to undercut the idealized image of motherhood promulgated by the media. “Maternal Love” is promoted as a sort of mystic force for good. But this misguided ideology spreads a sanitized notion of motherhood that creates unrealistic expectations for actual mothers and makes those who are honest about their challenges appear inferior.

“Jiyoung became different people from time to time. Some of them were living, others were dead, all of them women she knew. No matter how you looked at it, it wasn’t a joke or a prank. Truly, flawlessly, completely, she became that person.”

Cho carefully avoids defining Jiyoung’s ability to speak in the voices of other women. The episodes are not labeled with mental health terminology or explained away as “a joke or a prank.” This leaves it up for interpretation, suggesting rich metaphorical possibilities. Jiyoung’s voices are a motif supporting the theme of shared experiences among women. Jiyoung becomes other women, adopts their perspectives, and speaks in their voices. One woman’s history is entered into a collective history of discrimination. Likewise, an individual voice speaking out against oppression can represent the perspectives of countless women and inspire others to raise their voices in support of women’s rights.