Keeping 13

Content Warning: The source text and this guide discuss emotional and physical abuse and substance use disorder.

“A part of me wanted to beg my brother to just stick that knife through me so I could be done with it all. They were all so strong and I was weak. I wasn’t tough enough. I couldn’t bounce back like the rest of them.”

Shannon’s thoughts as she lies injured and watches her brothers confront their father, show her lack of faith in herself at the beginning of the novel. After many years of verbal and physical abuse at the hands of her father, she sees herself as weak, unable to defend herself or recover from her trauma. However, throughout the novel, as she builds relationships and learns The Importance of Community, she transforms into a strong and happy person.

“‘I need to talk to Joey.’ I needed to know what I was supposed to say if someone asked me what happened. I didn’t know the story.”

Shannon’s thoughts upon waking up reflect the extreme impact that years of abuse have had on her. Despite the pain she is in and the fact that she nearly died, her immediate response upon waking up is that she needs to know what lie to tell authorities to protect her family—failing to recognize that responding this way has made it impossible for anyone to help her.

“‘She was fifteen years old when she had me—fourteen when she was pregnant!’ [Darren] added. ‘Think about that for a minute. Think about how fucking frightened she must have been when she was thrown into a life with that monster. She doesn’t have a mother or father to show her the way. All she had in the whole fucking world was him. She was a baby having babies and it broke her!’”

Darren’s words to Shannon and Joey in the hospital introduce a central conflict in the text: the clash between Darren and Shannon/Joey on how to view their mother’s situation. While they all agree that she is suffering from The Lasting Impact of Trauma, Darren believes that his siblings blame her for the extreme impact the trauma had on her.